A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well when I was about 5 or 6, my teenage cousin raped me, not molested. He actually penetrated me. Anyways 2day is my 16th bday and my cousin and I have the same bday. So his mom called and told me happy bday then she gave the phone to him. As he talked to me I was kinda creeped out because he couldnt get over how grown up I sounded and how much i sounded like a woman. He couldnt stop talking about it. Now I've been thinking about him all night. So my question is What should I do? Its too late to charge him with rape and I keep thinking about it. The only person who knows is my best friend and i told her recently. So Im so confused and creeped out, so what should I do? Please help me.
View related questions:
best friend, cousin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, wise aunt +, writes (30 December 2009):
First of all....I am so sorry for his actions against you. Your cousin is a VERY sick individual. Penetration on a 4-5 year old from a healthy male is a VERY painful and a VIOLENT thing to do. It would result it tearing of your vagina. An infection might also follow. How did you keep this from your mother? You must have been traumatized.
.....and the answer to your question is to go speak with a Human Options or Rape Crisis center. You may not think that you are 'in a crisis', because it happened so long ago. The Crisis center WILL have your local laws regarding this case.
AS for your cousin, can you please tell us his name and city that he lives in? He has the making of a VERY sick individual. He most likely is a potential child molester or rapist. I'd like to stay clear of him or possibly give his name to my 'uncle vinny'. (it was a nice thought, but for legal purposes I am stating that I'm kidding)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): TELL your parents x
...............................
A
male
reader, Hemingway +, writes (29 December 2009):
Hi there!First of all, you should know that there is no such thing as too late. It may be incredibly hard to file charges, but it's never too late to bring your assault to your loved ones, or respected ones if a loving parent isn't around. (Teachers, coaches, scout leaders, etc.) Second, while confrontation is never comfortable, you are totally allowed (and, as a 28 year old man who was raped by his father until he was 5, I have a bit of experience dealing with creepy family.) to tell him to take a long walk off a short bridge. "Gee coz! You sound like a woman!" "Well, rapist, you'll never know, and talk to me again, and I'll turn you into the cops so fast your head will spin."Who knows? It just may feel good, okay, REALLY good to get some of your own back. Last of all, look into a therapist. In this day and age, you can find one just about anywhere that works on a sliding scale. (Will charge according to your income level.)They aren't a mind fu*k or anything of the sort. They simply provide one with the tools to do deal with a situation appropriately. Good luck to you!
...............................
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (29 December 2009):
 Tell him you don't like the way he speaks to you. Also I would consider speaking to your mum and dad.
...............................
A
male
reader, Aaron8466 +, writes (29 December 2009):
You must tell your parents. It's the only obvious answer. Unfortunately, after 1 year I think you can't charge them. That's it. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): I think you need to deal with what it did to you - it may be too late to file charges but it's not too late to make sure it does not happen to anyone else.
And you need to warn parents about him, his and yours. Maybe you can talk to your mother and let her know that you are concerned that he may make a move again. Be ready to deal with parental skepticism since no one like to believe their daughter was raped or abused.
Are there are any other young cousins? He is way older than you, if he was a teen when you were 5 years old. If he is not even sounding apologetic about it, perhaps you need to confront him, with your mother by your side. The family needs to let him know that its only time that has prevented you from filing charges and that he will be watched closely.
...............................
A
male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (29 December 2009):
I'm very sorry. Talk to your parents first and get them in the know. Again, I'm very sorry.
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (29 December 2009):
 It is too late to make a charge stick but you should let him now that you remember what he did and that you don't want him anywhere near you and that if there is ever any suspicion of him molesting someone else you will go public with what he did to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, ChantillyMarie +, writes (29 December 2009):
So I'm guessing you didn't tell your parents?
Would they believe you now, if you did tell them? All I have to say is, I have sort of the same problem, my cousin's are a little bit creepy, and tad bit perverted, but I quickly told them to back off and so on, but that doesn't always work. First off I'd tell your parents.
And if they don't believe you, just refuse to talk to him, it's your right not you wanting it, and I'm so sorry to hear that, no one so young should have to go through that, at that age, or any age for any matter.
I hope I helped.
...............................
A
female
reader, 2confused2think +, writes (29 December 2009):
Tell your parents, I know its hard but it will before the best. You can at least get a restraining order on him! I'm sorry for what that creep did to you!
...............................
A
female
reader, missyhinkle +, writes (29 December 2009):
well in most cases i dont know if iyt is the same for other state but i have been in this position i was to youing top know better i was a late bloomer at least in california there is a 10 yr limitation to rape i was 13 when it happened to me and i am now 25 yrs old i have know him for 20 yrs and the only person that knows is my mom and my roomate i refuse to tell my dad cuz i know my dad would kill him for doing it to me so i wont tell hime until i know for surte that that person is dead cuz i was 13 and he was 54 yrs old but i would go to the police and inquire abouyt it
...............................
|
