A
female
age
30-35,
Dark.Charmer
writes: How can you tell if it's true love or just a crush? This is the question many girls face today but its not just with any certain boys; no these are men. Teachers to be exact. Can it be love? Not likely but somehow our minds convince us of otherwise. I was one of those girls. When I entered high school I experinced a crush on one of my grade nine teachers. He was married, older and hated by many but somehow I found him charming. It wasn't until later when I realized I had formed a crush on this teacher. I told my friends eventally but for a month I kept it a secret. I was afraid of being laughed by my friends and I wasn't sure what to feel. After the semester ended though I somehow left my school girl crush behind. Somehow next semester I made friends with a boy who I ended up beginning to date but unfortantly he ignored me. I was hurt, I was angry and overall I didn't want to talk about for the longest time. Little did I know this would begin my crave for love and attention from the one I couldn't stop thinking about the following year. I was excited about grade ten, it was a new experince, a new beginning. I vowed I would not devolpe a crush on another teacher again. Luckly my first class I had a older, woman teacher. Next I had a teacher who I found very creepy then I had two older, very older men teacher so I knew I couldn't like any of them. Boy was I wrong. I tried to avoid the feelings but the teacher I thought was very creepy began to turn out to be not so creepy. I remember the first time I realized I liked my teacher. I was sitting in class just spaced out. I had been thinking about him alot lately and I had a dream about him. Everytime I thought about him I felt my body heat up. Finally sitting in class I said in my head 'I like him' trying to figure out if it sounded right. 'Oh god I like him.' I told myself. Suddenly I was called on to answer and question and when I looked at him I turned red in the face. That following week I couldn't sit in my seventy minute class without turning red, staring at him or being overly jealous. Somehow I got threw it though. I became obessed; I memorized his outfits, I knew where he lived, I knew he had no kids, what he did, what he liked and even his facial expressions. I found him attractive and I thought he was younger then he was. I couldn't stop myself from saying hello to him in the halls, stopping and talking to him and even waiting till my class filled out to say goodbye to him alone. I began fantazing about him and I made stories in my head where we became lovers. I felt as if I could never like anyone else. It wasn't even that this teacher was good looking, he paid attention to me, listened to me and he was smart. He was funny and he was him. I think he knew of my crazy obsession; if it wasn't for my friends (who I told) laughing and making jokes every time he walked by then he should have known from my blushing and staring. I was scared he was going to throw it in my face, treat me differently. Near the end of the semester, when I afraid to face the music, he began to distance himself away from me, not talking to me as much, not really saying hi and he even ignored me a few times. I think he did it for me, if he was doing it purposly at all. I still see him sometimes but never do our eyes meet. I wonder if I loved him, if I could count any of it as anything more then an obsession. I have come to realize that I will always have feelings for him just as I still have feelings for my teacher in grade nine and that boy who broke my heart. But somehow I am learning to move on. I am focused on school, I am getting my life togther and though I still wish I could be lucky in love I know that if I just wait it out I can find Mr. Right...well at least at that moment.
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crush, jealous, move on, my teacher, older men Reply to this Article
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female
reader, SuziDee05  +, writes (12 March 2008):
Well, I have to say the difference between love and a crush is that love comes from truly knowing someone, and as an education major myself, I will tell you that unless you stay connected with them after you graduate, it's incredibly unlikely that you actually know very much about your teachers at all. :)
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