A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,i have a problem... when i went to go have sex with this girl, i got all nervous and such and went completely blank. Like, the Johnson deflated. Idk what to do, ive been freaking out about it all night... the last time i slept with a girl, this happened the first time too but we eventually got over it and i didnt have the problem since. this is a new girl, new situation. I mean, she seemed pretty cool with it, but idk if she didnt want to make it awkward or what... She kept saying "dont be nervous, you dont need to be...". After that we got dresed and hung out for a bit, and it wasnt TOO awkward, just a small "odd" sensation in the air... idk i had one bad thought and once you get that one bad thought, its a slippery slope from there. So now im up, cant fall asleep, and dont know what to do. Idk what to say to her, how to act, w/e u get the point. How should i play this off? i feel like total crap right now, and i need some help.... thanks guys Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): She was beating herself up just as much as you are. She thinks she totally turned you off, and that you maybe arent turned on by her. She's horribly embarassed and probably won't make the move to hook up again because shes so mortified. Worse yet she thinks you think shes fat!
That said, you have got to talk to her. Explain that you were really nervous because shes the hottest girl you have ever dated and you didnt think you would be good enough for her. Imply that maybe she has some things to teach you. Flattery is a huge turn on, especially when its genuine. So is confidence. So show her that you are not gonna let this get to you because you know you have something to offer.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): Number one relax. It's called performance anxiety. You are getting yourself all worked up. A poster commented on this site recently that the most important sex organ is between your ears. I forgot who said it but they were right. Don't think so much. You have to communicate what you are feeling with her too. It it doesn't work don't get upset. You will be just fine.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 April 2010):
Just hold her and talk to her. You don't need to do anything else. This happens to most men at some point, usually caused by nerves. It's nothing to worry about, and the more you worry the more likely it will happen again. So just relax with her and talk to her about anything she wants to.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Dude, dont beat yourself up. Lots of guys have this problem.
Providing there is no medical reason, i.e you able to get an erection and keep it while on your own then your just focusing on it too much and getting anxious.
Try to relax more and it will come natural (excuse the pun).
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