A
female
age
22-25,
*atie1999xox
writes:I am falling in love with my soon to be step uncle and I don't know what to do. Do I end things now before it gets out of hand or do we carry on being like we are and tell people about us ? Is it forbidden to date him ?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Katie1999xox +, writes (17 November 2017):
Katie1999xox is verified as being by the original poster of the question Just want to say thank you to everyone answers ?? As we haven't told the whole family I have spoken to my Nan about it and she's very supporting and said she will talk to the family about the situation
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2017): Well, when you're going into territory that will raise family interest and opinion; best to seek the blessings of your parents.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (17 November 2017):
 OP, if you'd have to break up because of it, there's no point carrying on until then, is there? It's just a waste of time and will hurt more.As for the "we're both very mature", please be careful. You can only be as mature as your age allows. You, in particular, are new to being an adult, so you're no more mature than an 18 year old can be. The reason you may feel very mature is because there are so many who aren't.Please be extremely careful with this. I wouldn't advise acting on it, but please don't allow sexual intimacy, if you do continue. The last thing you need is a pregnancy, at your age and especially in this situation.As your family about this. If you can't, it's because it's not a good idea. Listen to how they feel about it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (17 November 2017):
 Have you asked your mom/dad?
Maybe it would be a good idea to ASK the people who might be affected by this relationship.
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A
male
reader, Dragoz87  +, writes (17 November 2017):
 Well its not entirely illegal...you might want to take into consideration age gap....how long has it been going on for?...I for one am open minded and might differ from other people when i say you can keep him on the side as he might help fill the gap till you find a more permanent partner
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (17 November 2017):
Well OP, that's far more benign than I thought. I personally wouldn't give it a second thought. Crack on1
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A
female
reader, Katie1999xox +, writes (17 November 2017):
Katie1999xox is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so I missed out the age difference and Im sorry about that. As I am 18 he has just turned 21 so there's not much different between us. We are both very mature and have a lot in common, as I feel stuck in the middle between my family and his family situation he's been very supporting on my decision. So abit more information in to the situation is my uncle is marrying his sister in 2018 December time! Do we carry on till then or not ??
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male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (16 November 2017):
Its never a good idea to date someone with whom you share close family connections. The vast majority of relationships break up...a break-up between you two could end up with you suffering thru years of awkward family occasions. It could end up with family members having to chose between you or him when it comes to being invited to family get togethers. So it really isn't fair to your family, either. Just a bad idea all around.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 November 2017):
I agree you leave out a LOT of detail. His age for one. And exactly how he is your "soon to be" step-uncle.
I'd say if he is more then 3-4 years older than you, it's probably not a great idea. While you are an adult at 18 dating someone MUCH older than you rarely work out in the long run for the simple fact that you DO NOT share all that much in common, that you are in different stages of live and have very different life/relationship experiences as well, not to mention the gap in financial and social standing. Now if he is MUCH older than you and feels he has a lot in common with you... an 18 year I question his level of maturity as well.
How DO you think your family would react? Sometimes that is the best way to gauge is a relationship is just not right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2017): You're both adults. He's not blood-related; but you carefully neglected to inform us of his age.
If he is twice your age, you will receive backlash from the rest of the family. Hopefully, he does not have a girlfriend or a wife. Extreme age-differences often destabilize and remedy themselves. The difference in experience levels become a destabilizing force, and they quickly fizzle-out.
They run their course, and everyone goes their separate ways.
Girls in your age-group have a propensity towards guys found in what they perceive to be "forbidden territory." You're drawn like a magnet to bad-boys and players.
Sometimes the attraction and appeal is partially due to the possibility it's controversial, far from the norm, or defies general approval. It somehow makes it all the more appetizing and even more tempting to pursue.
Go for it, if you think you're mature enough and able to deal with everything that comes with it. At best, it will be a great learning-experience. Either a good one, or a bad one.
Hopefully no unplanned-pregnancy will come of it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2017): What do you mean by step uncle? How old is he? Please give more details.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (16 November 2017):
Well it's not illegal. But that isn't even the half of it. I'm guessing you're 18 by 1999 in your username so you are an adult, however there are complex repercussions from relationships like this- is he much older than you? Did he know you from when you were much younger? If so how long has this type of contact been going on? If there is an age gap of five years or more and you have been moving towards this since before you were an adult, society takes a pretty dim view of adults who have occupied a privileged position of power, authority or security over someone they are now sexually or romantically involved with. It can be called grooming. It may not be like this at all, there is very little detail in your post, but if it is, or others might perceive it that way, expect a very strong push back from your family. Or he should at the very least. If you do then you should probably look again at whether it is the right relationship. If he's much older ask yourself what you have in common? If this man is so great why has he not chosen a woman to be with rather than someone who is only recently stopped being a child? Why hasn't a woman chosen him? Youth is great but most good relationships are formed with peers, either by age, experience, education or interests. Which of these categories does he fall into?
I suspect you already know there will be trouble. Are your family reasonable? If it will and they are sensible, then listen to them.
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