A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, and thank you so much for taking your time to answer my questions.My wife is pregnant in her 9th week or so. It is an unplanned pregnancy, and she seems to have concieved after our condom had slipped off. My wife behaviours got very sarnge, and in one of the evenings we argued quite badly and I slapped her in her face for talking nonsens. I don't need advice on this--I would do anything to change it, if possible, but I can't now. The timing must have been around 20 days to three weeks maxmum from the moment we had sex. My partner hs had really difficult life, and so have I. We already have two children; one with goldenhar syndrome (not as bad though), and the other is healthy. Because it was unplanned, and many other reasons, including the described physical abuse, we wanted to terminate the pregnancy. However, in the last minute, we could not bear to live with the guilt of abortion,so we decided to keep the baby. The decision was as an outcome of very, very difficult moments of undecision. Now, we are concerned if the initial abuse as described above, and the stress related to whether we should or should not terminate the pregnancy may have affected the featus. Can somebody help with soem good advice please???Many thanks,
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (7 March 2011):
consult a doctor about what effect your abuse had/has on the fetus.
You don't have to keep the baby if you are already barely able to keep your lives from falling apart. it was wise of you to consider seriously that you may not be able to provide for another child properly and responsibly.
Give the baby up for adoption if you can't provide a loving and stable home environment for him/her.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (7 March 2011):
 Stop. Relax.
Do not think about what has already happened. Your decision is to keep the baby and therefore, what you do NOW and in the future is what you should worry about. Think about her diet, ways she can help the baby, getting ready for it emotionally and physically, etc. Do not think about the months before now. They are done. Just relax and do what you can do in the present, to give that baby a good birth.
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