A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey i could really use some help as i am rather confused. I am 14 years old and i have had alot of problems in the past with my looks, i have always been really consoiuse about my weight and i have always been convinced i am real ugly. It sorta started at school when i used to get picked on because i was fat i lost alot of weight since then but people still sometimes say stuff. Alot of people around the area i live in have also always said how ugly i was it really gets me down sometimes and at one point my problems sprialed out of control to the point i started selfharming because i hated the way i looked. I always used to try and change the way i looked from differnet make up to different hair dyes to different clothes but no one used to notice and would still say i was ugly. Even my friends used to critisize me about how i looked and used to put me down. And Boys never seem to like me in an attractive way i did snog two boys when i was 13 but i dont get it because they used to always critsize me about my looks aswell ? I recently joined a sorta dateing site it was just to try and find friends but i keep getting loads of messages on my photos saying that im beautiful and all these boys keep wanting to hook up with me and there mostly my age some of them are 2 or 3 years older but i just dont get it !! everyone here has said im ugly, now all thses people say im beautiful ? well whats going on why do people keep saying differnet things ? I just really dont get it have my friends been lieing to me all this time ? can anyone help me out and say what this might be down to im just soo confused. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lovexlikewinter7  +, writes (7 March 2011):
Kids are mean. You probably are beautiful. And you seem very sweet. Growing up, I had the same problem. You live in a town full of people you've known since kindergarten, when you're at your worst, and also when you're at your best. God knows I still remember the kids who picked their noses or peed themselves. When you get older, or move on to a new community, people will be seeing you with new eyes. It worked for me. In school I had maybe 3 boyfriends in all my years, and I moved out of state for college, next thing I knew five boyfriends in one year!
Be confident. Its alluring. And besides. Who cares what they think?
Talk to someone you trust. The self consciousness may have developed into body dysmorphia. Its when you see yourself as something completely different than how you really look.
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