A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible for a man to love you, but not be attracted to you?...And how likely is he to stay with you if he meets a woman he is attracted to? My b/f and I have been together 4 years and I sometimes get the feeling he's not that attracted to me. He's here yes, but when a man never seems too interested in sex, doesn't turn ahd look when you undress, doesn't flirt or act dirty with you sometimes, I question if he's in this relationship because it's better than being alone, but I may be in for heartache down the road if he meets the type of woman who really turns him on. I get the feeling he's capable of being a bit of an animal(previous women) and being more sexually interested, just doesn't seem that way with me. Should I just enjoy what we have, which is common hobbies and enjoyments, we get along okay, he includes me on everything he does, but the relationship just seems to lack the zsa-zsa I've always thought it should have. Any advice?
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male
reader, RyanS  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Yes, its possible for a man to love you, but not fancy you sexually, even if you are very attractive. This is a complex thing and I have thought about why it happens in "many" men around 35-45 age group. Once a man starts seeing his wife as an equal, the same man finds that the animal aspect of sex is difficult to achieve. And it confirms because he treats you as an equal in everything, which is the ultimate position for a woman in a relationship. But it often seems to take a toll on male sexuality. The same man can have animal-like sex with another woman (an unknown but attractive woman). Are you pleasing him sexually? Or does initiate/do the sexual work all the time?
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (3 July 2010):
 I'd question whether you are in this relationship cos it's better than being alone. You need to tell him how you feel. If you don't feel desired this will have a terrible effect on your self esteem in the long term. When someone comes along that really fancies you,what will you do then? x
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