A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was single for 6 years after being cheated on, then I met someone and was in a relationship for 8-9 weeks and started to have strong feelings for him, we got on really well, always with each other apart from when we was at work, but we text alot when not with each other. We had a lot in common. We had a slight disagreement (not a row) and he moved his things out, with pride I didnt stop him but it was clear he didnt want to go. I text him I still loved him and he replied I still love you to, 3 days later he is back with his ex who treated him badly, they were on and off for 3 -4 years, he would go round hers and she would do cleaning, no time for him. I have text him a couple of times telling him how I really feel but he hasnt replied, im so down.I have stopped texting him and its been about 4 days since I did text him. I really regret whats happened and want him back. Surely he couldnt of forgotten me.
View related questions:
at work, his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): I too am going through a similar situation to yourself. We had a row and since then - 7 days he has not bothered with me at all. I texted to begin with and got no response but haven't called. I now just just feel deeply humiliated and embarrased as if I was chasing him or something. The only thing you can do here is not call, text or visit and keep your dignity by not contacting him anymore. I am not sure if he will remain with his ex but at the moment she clearly has some kind of hold over him. There is a chance when they fall out again which they will that he will be in contact with you so use this 'breathing space' as a time to think. In the meantime keep yourself busy, clean the house etc etc and try to stop thinking about and analyzing the situation. He most certainly will not have forgotten about you but he will feel embarrasssed by his behaviour and not want to be reminded of it so a bit of time needs to pass before he feels comfortable in himself and will be able to talk to you again. Just leave him alone for now.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 June 2012):
 I am so sorry you are hurting and even more sorry that this man has cast you aside.
It seems he was not all he seemed and it would appear that his ex was still very much in the loop as he has completely side stepped you and gone back to her.
I don't want to lessen your situation but 9 weeks isn't long enough to know someone, it's the honeymoon period where everyone is on their best behaviour but when their true nature comes through the cracks begin to show.
It was very early for him to be declaring love and if he did really love you, he would not have been able to end things with such ease!
It seems you were a 'fall back girl' someone to temporarilly fill the gap whilst he decided what he really wanted. Men do this all the time, end one relationship and immediately find someone new, but all too often that new person is cast aside because the relationship is never taken seriously by the man...I am pretty sure this is what has happened...men do it to avoid being alone and without sexual intimacy.
Anything he told you about his past relationships being so terrible is a ploy to pull you in...and it seems things couldn't have been that bad as he is now back with her.
It's really unfair but men do not see it that way...they never have to deal with it because they just choose to ignore the person left behind and thats why he hasn't replied to your texts.
I would be very wary if he returns. If you take him back without question he may continue the pattern and go back and fourth between you and the ex.
I know this sounds very negative, it is not my intenet to make you feel bad, but the most obvious answer is usually the right one.
Get on with your life because that's really all you can do. Any attempt to chase him will make you look desperate and then you will become vulnerable to him using you as he has already.
Be strong, this too shall pass
xxxxx
...............................
|
