A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had a date last weekend with what i would consider the perfect man, the only problem is he was very nervous and shy.. despite this we chatted for hours and the date lasted til the next morning. We arranged another date but the problem is I never heard from him . I sent a couple of messages and he didnt reply.I am very annoyed as the date seemed to go very well and neither of us wanted it to end. I probably should have waited to sleep with him but the chemistry was there. He said he would be even more nervous meeting again, which I thought was strange. My question is, could extreme shyness prevent someone from getting involved in a relationship or is it just the old cliche of having sex on the first date and ruining your chances?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): Thanks again for taking the time to answer. I d just like to say that its a pity that everyone always jumps to the same conclusion in these situations and assume that he only wanted sex. Many of my relationships started with sex on the first night. Maybe he did only want sex but I d like to think there may be another reason that he disappeared. I think there may be something in what LazyGuy said ie that maybe I the scared the pants off him (!) Some men really cannot handle confident women.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): I never have sex with nobody, but even when I spend all night talking to a guy he never calls back. Imagine if you add sex to the picture.
The cliché is true, also the one that says "Always leave them wanting more". I had to learn it the hard way too.
Sorry.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Who did the asking out? Because if he asked you out, then succesfully managed to get you into the sack, exactly what gives you the impression he is shy?
Nothing of what you say indicates shyness on his part.
As for sex on the first date. Well he got everything, why should he call again? What more is there to get?
Shy or not, what reason has he to call again?
Now there might be all kinds of reasons he hasn't contacted you but lets face it, you probably just experienced a one-night-stand. His shyness may have been fake although there is no reason a shy guy can't have a one-night-stand.
Or to spare your feelings, perhaps he was really shy and you scared the pants of him. It ain't just women who sometimes feel rushed of their feet and perhaps he regrets what happened.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): Thank you for your answers.
I did consider the idea that he might be a 'player' but I could sense that he was genuinely nervous and would be surprised if that was the case. should point out that he drank a lot and was pretty drunk when we did sleep together so the nerves would have settled by then.
I was asking more about shyness having an affect of peoples confidence when it comes to getting involved though.
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