A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try and keep this short and sweet but I'm a little confused as to where I stand with a male friend of mine...We're somewhat close (he knows some personal things about me and vice versa and we talk fairly often but we're not extremely close or anything) and whenever we do talk we both tend to be smiley, chatty, etc. - nothing out of the ordinary, just typical friends really. One day, he had seemed extremely happy to see me - big grin, crinkly eyes kind of happy. Not something he usually does to anyone, especially considering he hates his smile for some reason! I thought 'Hey, he's in a good mood today! Good for him!' Then I saw him a little later that day and he hugged me and said 'It's so good to see you again! I've missed you!' I didn't really know how to react to that considering he saw me earlier that day and the day before so I ended up leaving a little abruptly - not out of discomfort or anything but just slight confusion and a dazed expression.We kept talking as normal through text/Facebook, yet the next time I saw him about a week or so later, he completely blanked me, not even so much as a 'Hi'. Every time I saw him, I could see him looking at me when he thought I wasn't looking - at points it looked like he wanted to speak to me and other times like he was almost disgusted by my presence. He did this for that whole week until I came up to him and asked if I could talk to him - as soon as I asked him that, his face visibly dropped for a split second. I asked him if everything was ok and he said he was fine. We talked for a bit, although quite awkwardly. He said something that offended me and I let him know (politely and jokingly) and he just said 'What does it matter? It's not important' Ok, I don't expect us to agree on everything and he might have felt it was just something petty but he's always respected my views before, and I've always treated him with the same respect. I figured he might have been having a bad day so didn't jump down his throat for that but his odd behaviour kept going on. I asked him if I did anything to offend him and his response was 'You could never do anything to offend me'. There were occasions after that where we talked every now and then and sometimes it seemed as if he was being his normal self again, falling into our old routine (if you can call it that). Then suddenly it was almost as if he snapped out of it and went back to behaving oddly again. This pretty much continued for a while. Recently, however, it seems as though he's slowly coming back to being his normal self around me. I haven't physically seen him for about a year and we just communicate via text/Facebook but I've dialed it down to contacting him every 2-3 months just to give him some space and let him talk to me about anything that's going on with him if he wants.My question is - what possible reason would he have for behaving in such an odd manner (for him)? Is it just likely to be because of a personal issue he's trying to deal with or because of something I've done? If it's the former I would like to be able to be there for him at the very least and if it's the latter I'd rather know what I've done. I know you guys don't know either of us but maybe a fresh perspective would help. Am I missing something here?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2013): Thanks for taking the time to answer!
I suppose I've never really looked at him in that way so it wasn't something I'd considered. In hindsight, I can see the logic behind your suggestion. Hopefully I'll be seeing him soon so I should be able to gauge what's going on from how he behaves, bearing that in mind!
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (12 May 2013):
 Hi
My take is the day he was extra pleased to see you, told you he had missed you, he was trying to say 'I really like you' with his actions. Maybe he had told a friend he liked you and they said 'show it then' so in his own way,he did.
You walked off dazed, which is understandable, so he would assume you didn't want to persue more than FB and chats, he probably felt stupid and gutted but didn't want to lose the friendship so stays in touch.
I could be way off, but from your description that's how it sounds.
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