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Confused, scared and alone... lied to a bunch of friends that I was no longer a virgin when I am!

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 January 2007)
A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Recently I lied to a bunch of my friends about being a virgin. I know its childish and inmature of me to do, but when I was confronted with the question flashes of rejection from every girl I've ever liked dating back into gradeschool flashed in front of me (currently a sophmore in college). I've tried every everything from being myself to becoming the authors of books I've read. Its not that I am desperate to lose my virginity that bad. I really want to be with someone that can make me happy, but I cant seem to find or when I think I may have found one "pick up" these women. I am confused, scared and alone at this stage of my life and I would really appericate some help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007):

just stay true to yourself, and go with the flow. dont look for it, it will come looking for you. you know when the time is right because you will 'just know'.

theres no rush in losing your V. just live life to the full and enjoy yourself :)

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A male reader, Peterk5699 United Kingdom +, writes (18 January 2007):

Peterk5699 agony auntYou should be proud to be a virgin and wanting to lose it to someone special and not in the back of a car.

I used to be the same but now I will happily tell the truth that I am indeed a virgin. You shouldn't be scared to tell the truth, you'll feel better and people will also respect you more for more suddenly losing it and also for telling the truth.

So remember: Next time that nasty question comes along proudly tell the truth and don't be ashamed.

-- Pete

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A female reader, Shelley-jade United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2007):

Shelley-jade agony auntmost people do it, to look god to their friends. But honetly girls/guys have more respect for virgins. Coming clean is the hardest part. Just let things die down for a while. Please dont look so hard to lose your vaginity. Some people throw it away like an old book. The right person will come along.

Trust me it means alot more to you then you think. Take your time, there are always people around that lie about having sex.

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A female reader, Nikita United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2007):

Nikita agony auntHiya, well I agree with David. Stop looking and trying so hard and it will come to you. I felt this way a few years ago. Im a teeny bit older than you but we all get alone sometimes no matter what age we are, especially when everyone around you appears to be with someone and happy but when you're really lonely and desperate to be with someone thats when you give off the wrong signals that can scare potential suitors off. You have to try and relax and change the way you think. Being by yourself isnt all bad. You can make it into a positive thing. Its better that you're single than sleeping with every girl that happens to cross your path. You're different and soon someone will see that in you. Dont try and be someone you're not becasue firstly, it takes too much effort and secondly, you just wont be able to keep it up when you do meet someone and then she'll wonder why you've suddenly become someone else. I met my partner and soulmate when I wasnt looking and when I was my most relaxed. Id given up on ever finding someone and so I decided being by myself wasnt that bad and I threw myself into other things to fill my life so I wouldnt be so lonely and then one night at a bar I met someone and four years later we're still together and happy. So, forget about trying to meet someone, be yourself totally, have fun, your're young so make the most of what life has to offer you while you can, and one day I promise you, you will meet someone who you can be happy with. Good luckx

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A male reader, David Lewis United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2007):

David Lewis agony auntI think the key to finding somebody is to stop looking. When you are looking for love, you are blind to instinct and genuine attraction. Keep being yourself and seek self improvement. You are only young. Let time take its course and that special one will come along when you least expect it. You will find love in the most unlikely place. You will be surprised what you find when you are not looking.

Its like when you are looking for your keys, you become blind and cant even see them when they are in front of you. Stop looking and see the wider picture. Then the one you are looking for will find you.

Best of luck

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