A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all. I have his boyfriend with whom I've been dating for 6 weeks, and have been exclusive with for 2. However, ever since we've been exclusive, he's been stressed out with school (it's his Senior year of college, I'm a Freshman), which I understand, yet it's his behavior that I can't comprehend. He's more selfish and constantly rude. He's contantly reminding me during our conversations (what few we have now) about how he "does what he wants" and when I talk about an issue that is important to me, his repsonse usually includes "I don't give a fuck". I have asked him to do an array of activities with me (bowling, a trip to the beach, movies and a dinner date - for which I offered to pay for, a playful game of basketball, and even just taking a walk), yet he refused all and opted to just stay in his bed all day and mess around on his laptop. Yesterday I even asked him to spare an hour to have sex with me, and he responded by saying he was so overloaded he couldn't see me until "midnight at the earliest". I hadn't seen him in 2 days at that point, now three. I've tried to be patient and give him the space he needs, only occassionally sending him a short text or email simply telling him "I miss you" or that "this made me thing of you". I don't know what else to do, he is so different from when we were just dating. He would joke with me, and was always so kind and sweet to me. Now he's just rude and frankly he hurts my feelings a lo and it makes me feel like shit. So my two questions are: 1) Why is he so different then he was when we weren't exclusive, and 2) Can I save this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (3 May 2010):
 He is happier having No strings attached sex on his terms.
You should end it.
That is his true personality.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 May 2010):
 questions # 3 why do you want to be with him, he does not respect you, he treats you bad. I'm really intrigue to know why do you want a relationship with someone who is not there for you.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 May 2010):
 So, he doesn't want to go out with you, won't see you until after midnight - not even for an hour quickie. He tells you he doesn't "give a fuck" about anything remotely important to you. He barely talks to you and when he does, reminds you that he does what he wants to do. Anyone who hurts your feelings a lot and makes you feel like shit is clearly not the guy for you. Yeah, maybe he's stressed out with school - I am too. But I don't morph into a horrible person and spend weeks insulting people I care about.
I think you should break up with him. Give him space to finish school, get his shit together and think about what he's done to this relationship. If he comes back a changed man, apologizing and begging forgiveness - cool. Give him a second chance (if it feels like the right thing to do). And if he never calls again, then you know just what kind of a guy he is. A jerk!
Good luck, sweetness!
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