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Confused about my boyfriend's intentions...

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2014)
A female India age 30-35, *eshm writes:

I have a boyfriend, our relationship started before 5 months, I never new him, we met on the whatsapp.

He proposed me within 6 days, without any meeting, now we just met at once in 5 months and had sex 1 time.

Till now he didn't proposed for marriage, he told me that we will maintain our relationship whether we get married or not, but I want to marry him because I don't want to sleep with different people, and I truly love him. But I am scared what will happen if he will reject me or leave me, and he wanted to sex with me again. I'm confused what to do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014):

Yeah you shouldn't really just be ready to sleep with a guy who you only met once in the five months of chatting to online. From what he said, he isn't that keen to marry you, but would likely keep you as someone to hook up with for sex when there's no one else for him to have sex with, but he has no intentions of marrying you IMO. This is the year 2014, maybe one in a million guys would be willing to marry a woman just because she gave him sex. Freely sleeping around is very common for male and female these days, morals and self respect got lost centuries ago. I should say dump this guy and think twice about giving sex to the next men you meet with expectations of marriage afterwards. Think of it this way, would YOU want your daughter to do what you have done in this situation? Just a thought, but I'd think you would raise your daughter to be more sensible than that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014):

I notice that you're from India and that your cultural background and your wishes are likely to be very different from those of Western women --- bear that in mind when reading any advice here. Western women frequently have sex with men and then dump them, without missing a heartbeat: I don't imagine this is so common in India!

Anyway...

You say that you love him, and want to marry him. In that case, you're going to have to talk to him: tell him that you're hurt and upset by his behavior. Being scared that he'll reject you or leave you is all very well, but it seems the guy is barely with you anyway. If he proposed before you had sex then it's hardly unreasonable of you to remind him that he'd said he'd marry you.

I wish you all the best...

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (29 January 2014):

Ciar agony auntDump him.

He's not a good guy. Decent people do not propose to someone after 6 days, only to meet up with them once for sex in 5 months.

He's not a good man and definitely not someone you'll want to be married to 5 years from now.

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