A
female
age
41-50,
*esperatelyWanting
writes:My boyfriend hasn't had the desire to have sex with me in 2.5 years. I don't believe he's cheating on me, he's just gone off sex and affection. He's incredibly depressed about his station in life yet seemingly has no desire to better his position. I'm incredibly frustrated (emotionally and sexually) because I don't know how to broach the subject without making him mad and making myself cry. I love him, he's a teriffic, brilliant man, but he won't get help, and I guess my question is how can I get him to listen to me without sounding naggy, condescending or utterly fed up? I just want my boyfriend back.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 Your boyfriend is very depressed, and that is why he is not interested in bettering his situation. This is not an intellectual debate. He knows he could do something, he has simply lost the desire to do anything (including sex with you).
Talk to him. If you can not even talk to him about this, what future could the two of you have?
Let him know that you are there for him, and that you are there to listen. You can even try asking him when he felt he lost control (a good question for people thinking or attempting suicide).
But, you need to let him know how much it hurts you that he is hurting.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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