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College g/f asked a guy to hook up while drunk

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 19 January 2012)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I met my girlfriend towards the end of my junior year. She was a senior at the time and I was nervous about getting attatched because she would be leaving for college. After hanging out everyday in the summer i started to really like her and I decided to ask her out. I was nervous about college and partying and stuff but she eventually told me not to worry that she loved me so much and she wanted to be with me all through college, and I told her I felt the same way.

After moving into college it was apparent she would be partying because the first night she got a little too drunk. I thought it was fine although, I didnt really like her drinking. In the begining of October (dating for 3 months) she was at a party and she texted a boy she had previously hooked up with before i knew her saying: "I wanna hook up so badly." I didnt know about this till halloween when I saw the text on her phone because she never told me. She then lied to me repetedly saying it was her friends and that she didnt even drink. But then I started to get the whole story. She was very drunk and everyone was doing stuff and it was in the moment so she texted him.

She tells me she wont drink anymore and that shes really sorry. Im so upset though because she told me she wanted to hook up with him, and she has before. Its a couple months after but Im still so sad. Is it normal that im still so upset about this? Should I be worried, and what should I do? I cant get it out of my head that she wanted to hook up with another guy. I just dont know what to do because I have never been in this situation before.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you! bothof those helped. i just feel betrayed. Do you think it was just the alcohol talking? I just dont understand cause ive been to parties that were really bad and everyone was hooking up and i drank and never got the urge to hook up with anyone so i dont understand why that could happen to her And i feel like being drunk is not an excuse. please help me with this its driving me crazy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yes those both helped thank you so much. She told me she loved me and wanted to be with me forever though so im just confused how she could want to hook up with another guy ya know? Ive been to pretty bad parties before where hookups were going on and ive never felt the need to hook up with anyone else. Do. you think it was just the alcohol talking or what? haha cause i just cant wrap my head around why being drunk had anything to do with it, cause ive always been fine when drinking

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (19 January 2012):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntYeah man Id be irate. In fact, this woman would be out my door. Thats me however. I have no tolerance for this kind of thing at all. If youre the forgiving type, youll need to rebuild trust and a good way to start that is by compromising with her that no booze is allowed unless you two are together in the same place. This way both see each others actions, words, and there wont be that curiousity "I wonder what the alcohol will do to her tonite?" while shes not in your sight.

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