A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:okay, so there's a guy we'll call him 'darrel'. now 'darrel' is 5 years older than me. he is smart and funny and loving. we've flirted for a while. i know him from church. in june he told me that he loved me when we were alone. he's been told to stay away from me. he's kissed me since then and i just kinda went with it. i never wanted to marry, but this makes me question myself. our relationship is frowned upon by a pastor who is good friends with my stepmother. 'darrel' told me one day as he was walking me to the bus to take us home that he'd get me a ring soon. i freaked and have been brushing him off latley. i recently found out he bothered another girl my age not too long before i entered the picture. i just found out that he smokes. i'm still a little uncomforatable with it even though he's legal. please help me! i need advice on if i should break it off with him. and if so, how should i? should i stay friends or would that just be setting his expectations too high? thanks and God bless
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): He certainly sounds like a guy who's only out to carve notches and run up a score. With as little contact as you've had with each other - why should EITHER of you consider being in a serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It takes time together for those things to develop!It might be a good idea to have a serious, adult, discussion with your Pastor, and your stepmother, about why they think you should stay away from each other.You can be polite and gracious without encouraging him. His kissing you is certainly out of order - if he tries again, tell him "NO!" (and really mean it!) and tell your stepmother about it.
A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Theres a good reason that your pastor frowns upon your relationship. Most people would frown upon this. And he's been told to stay away from you for a good reason.
If your age bracket is correct, then at the best you are 15 and he is 20, which makes any kind or sexual contact illegal.
While dating is not illegal, my personal advice is to stay away. Why? lets take a look...
-he has a track record or 'bothering' girls your age.
-You are uncomfortable with this relationship which is leading me to believe you are being pressured into it anyways.
-The people around you have shown their dissaproval. because they're trying to protect you.
Find a guy your own age, and you'll be much happier. So yes break it off with him, i say, and move on your seperate ways. If you feel like you can still be friends then go for it, but again, i'd advise against it.
If you want to ask me anything else if you want me to clear some of this up i'd be happy to.
Nick.
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