A
female
age
,
*asolina
writes:My boyfriend of 7 years is chronically unemployed. He is well educated, and has some good skills, but has been on a consulting gravy train that has allowed him to live, albeit meagerly, on very little actual work. With this has come the leisurely lifestyle usually reserved for retired people. Those fatty contracts have all gone with the new reality, and now the time between contracts is stretching out longer and longer - and the money he has available to him is getting thinner and thinner. He says he's looking (by which he means he is applying for jobs on the internet), but he needs a real PLAN. I don't want to live with someone who isn't contributing to society, and doesn't have a reasonable sustainable way of making an income. He knows this. I love him very much, but our relationship is in limbo - not moving forward. What should I do?
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Sounds like my ex-boyfriend. He was the exact same way! Of course we were only 20 at the time....But he was very flightly like that. And fickle. Couldn't make up his mind which woman he wanted to stick with either. He had the annoying habit of wanting to "sample" them all.
A
female
reader, Gasolina +, writes (22 March 2010):
Gasolina is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all your good responses. Maybe I should clarify a bit. In the 7 years we've been together, he hasn't been continuously employed for more than about 10 weeks, and most of his contracts are for about 3 weeks. His "rate" for consulting is $625 per day. He has a B.Sc. I am a single mother with a steady job.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): Not much you can do besides motivate him. Its either leave or accept that he does things in his own speed and that you might not get the results you want.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (20 March 2010):
Has he ever held a good job for any length of time? It could be one of two things; he's the type of guy who's always found a woman to support him because he may be educated (looks good on paper) but doesn't apply himself for reasons ranging from laziness to fear of failure. Or it could be that he's simply burned out of the whole career scene and he's looking for ways to "make due" without the daily grind and the stress that goes with many high powered jobs. My guess is he's unemployed by choice. He may even be sabotaging potential interviews so he can continue to remain in limbo while you support the both of you.
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