A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my wife has left me....she told me that she loves me but is no longer in love with me.she said that it feels odd when she kisses me and cant give me what i want. i have so many questions that i want answers to but she says she cant give me these answers. we have been together for 13 years with an 8 year old son and i honestly believed we were soulmates. there is no one else and i know that for a fact. i believe that she is confused with her emotions, or maybe im just hoping she is... i feel completely lost without her and cannot even think about her with another man without it killing me inside.i have asked her to go to counselling with me which she has agreed to but she did say that she wont get back with me and shes only going so it helps me understand it... does anyone know why she has done this.... can you truly fall out of love with someone or is it just that our relationship has moved on to another level?please help im hurting so badly
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female
reader, happy24birthday  + ♥, writes (21 December 2008):
 I would say your wife is unhappy, and there's nothing you can do or say as her husband to fix it. She has lost passion, and now it's like loving a friend. Although she seems to have her mind made up, maybe counseling will change that. I do think it's a good sign that she is going, even if she says it's only for you to understand. If it ends up that way, however, maybe you will understand, which will still be helpful - painful but helpful. I've never had a soul mate, so I can't totally relate. It sounds like it was lovely at one time. It was lovely for her, too, but she's moving in a different direction now. Let her move. Her fire is gone at the moment. I don't want to give you false hope, but don't be surprised if she shows up a year from now begging your forgiveness and wanting you back.
A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (21 December 2008):
 I think we can love someone but not be in love with them it is hard for the person who still loves and does not receive that love back it could just be she has genuinely fell out of love with you sorry! if there is no one else and she is being completely honest about that then she is doing the decent thing by going to counselling to help you understand her reasons. She may think about a trial separation first before making any rash decisions see how she feels whilst away from you it may be better to agree to this and allow her some time to find out what it is she feels is missing in your marriage to make her feel she no longer is in love with you. I can say i have been to Relate (Marriage Counselling) with my husband and i could not believe how he opened up about certain things it was a learning experience for me because we can share our lives with someone thinking we know them, love them, and then find out we did'nt really know them at all in some aspects because people change for some the attraction, or love diminishes i hope when the both of you go to Marriage Counselling you can find some of the answers that will help you to cope with this because equally these things are important to you too i wish you both well.
Gina
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