A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Alright,I'm trying to figure something out. I know this is a question I have to determine for myself, but it helps me a ton to talk out a question and receive people's input. (like anyone else, I guess).My girlfriend and I are currently in a very long distance relationship. We both love each other very much and are easily doing back flips over one another. We have spent only 4 months of our 15 month relationship in the same city. Everything I know about the girl points to her being the right one for me. She, herself, is very sure that I am the right one for her.We got into a disagreement today (not a fight... it was a civil talk, thankfully) about how I don't think we are ready because there are experiences that we don't get to have compared to a couple living in the same city. And I feel that we should have them to really know if we are the right ones for each other. She disagrees and says that the experiences that we'd have would be different between single and married life anyway and that, once married, we'd adapt to our mate's living style.Now, I know that there are people who have never lived with each other before that end up having very successful marriages. But I just can't help but think that having the experience of living inside the same postal city is important. Despite the fact that everything I know about her says she fits me perfectly, I still feel like I couldn't pop the question without having lived in the same city. Is this foolish of me? Can you really get to know someone through online, skype, and many weekends (Friday - Sunday/Monday) together? I feel like I know her in and out, personally, so I would say yes to the final question. But... still, the first one? I don't know. I'm torn; I see her side, but I still think it's important to spend time together in the same city.I know she's ready to be engaged. And I feel like I'm dragging her along because of it.I don't know. I need an open forum :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor the record: this is not an online relationship and it did not start that way. We met in real life and practically lived together for the first 4-5 months of our relationship. It was then that our relationship turned long distance and online. When we see each other, we basically live at the other's apartment. And we see each other about 2 times a month. So we do know a lot about each other's life styles... and typing that just gave me insight that I know and have had many of the "same city" experiences that I am thinking of without even realizing it.
Thank you, anon, for typing this: "However, from what you said, you two seems to be doing great. If you never live together, that is fine. It will becomes something you two look forward to." Very kind words to read :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): Online relationship is hard. I been through it and it doesn't work for me.However, from what you said, you two seems to be doing great. If you never live together, that is fine. It will becomes something you two look forward to.If we have know and done everything together, marriage wouldn't be so special anymore.We can know each other through online. But when you spend time together in person, then you will truly know if that is how it is.Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (7 May 2009):
 my husband and i didnt live together untill we were married. it was hard at first b/c i found out a lot i kust didnt know / or want to know about. just how his routinues go and everything, but after a while it got good. i personally think try living together, thats when quirks come out.
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