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Can you change your mind about attractiveness?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 May 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 May 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My friend (mr A) recently started dating this girl who previously dated his best friend (Mr B). She was very into his friend and when he lost interest in her she was very upset and cried to my friend (Mr A) about it. When her and Mr B started dating first my friend Mr A said that he didnt think she was very attractive and that Mr B normally goes for much more attractive girls. Im just confused by their relationship, is it possible to become attractive to someone you never found attractive initially? and can you over come being with someone who was madly in love with your friend?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2014):

100% yes! I'm in love with someone that I USED to just see as a friend, didn't used to have ANY romantic feelings for him.

But as we've got to KNOW each other after about 8 or nine months, I've truly discovered what a complex, compassionate wonderful, witty kind interesting man he is :) he's not the best looker but I'm crazy about him! :) he's perfect in every way to me.

Like ciar said, attraction is not based on sole appearance... Only on a very superficial level when you first meet maybe. Tbh your friend mr B sounds quite shallow.

One day she'll realise this and could easily fall for Mr A. As for him, depending on if he falls in love with her, I think he'd be prepared to get over it, because he can't bear being without her.

Attraction and love isn't like in the movies, it takes time and true bonding and emotional connection.

Wish them well :)

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (25 May 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWhat you're REALLY talking about here, is ONE "man" taking advantage of a woman who has been dumped by another "man".... and nothing more.....

Remove your "....never found attractive..." proviso, and this will all become crystal clear.

Is there NOTHING egregious enough that we guys will do.... that you girls won't see what total pigs we can be?????

Good luck...

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (25 May 2014):

Ciar agony auntYes and yes.

Many people have developed an attracted to someone they didn't initially find physically appealing. Much of attraction is based on personality and similarities.

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