A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This guy and I were friends for about a year and we always got along, we flirted on and off with eachother, but nothing ever really came about. As time went on, I noticed that he started doing little things that seemed like he liked me--but he never made a move. I KNOW that I could have made a move but it just seemd like we both never got to the point, we would just flirt with each other and wait and it did suck. He started saving little things I would give him, or things that we would get when we were together, he would always be trying to take photos of us together, always willing to help me out with anything, and would talk to other guys, especially when we would be together and he would tell them I was "too much" for them and stuff like that and they should just leave me alone. It seems like we were just fine being friends and if sometihng was going to happen in teh future it would, but about a month ago--we actually somewhat, argued if you will put it that way. It was not so much an arguement, but more a diffrence of opinions. He stated his opinion on sometihng and i dis-agreed. Now, Note, this opinion he had was on something rather personal to me and I just wanted to set him straight about how I felt. Since while we were talking, he wouldn't let me get a word in, I e-mailed him how I felt about the whole situation and ever since then, he has not talked to me, gotten back to my message, nothing. I hate to admit..but I guess it could be a pride thing, but I dont know if I should talk to him first. I feel like I put the ball in his court and he just isnt doing anything..so I shouldnt have to talk to him and try to make ammends with him. He should try to talk to me, right?Could it just be that he isnt really that intrested in me? This whole thing, really isnt that big of a deal and it happened so fast, I didnt think that he would not want to be friends over this. It seems like he just cut me out of his life (Iam assuming this, but I mean, he has not tried to get in contact), I am sure the next time we see each-other will be akward. What do I say to him? Do I say anything to him? I dont know what to do. I am sorry this situation may sound stupid..but Iam just looking for some real advice..the truth is, I cant get him off my mind--no matter how much I try to DISTRACT myself. If him not responding to my message, means he doesnt want to talk anymore, I dont know how to forget him. The thing is, I am a sweet/Fun, girl and guys talk to me all the time, but I will be hanging out with them, but thinking of him and I HATE THAT!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell...I was out at lunch and I actually ran into this guy today. We talked alittle about the situation. I was walking in to the place and he was walking out and we kind of just ran right into eachother and it was akward..but he was like, Hey..Its nice to see you ( we had not seen eachother...almost 2 months now)...and He just kept saying, he didnt want to fight with me, that was why he never replied to my E-mail or anything..and he figured I would understand. He was like when it comes to our diffrences--were really not that different, and he stated..its all just water under a bridge. I mean, I guess we are Ok now..but part of me still feels like things are not totally in the clear.Is that normal to feel?? Should I tell him I feel this way still? I never wanted to mess up our friendship--and I mean it seems like he is willing to just forget about the whole mis-understanding...and I am too, I am not the type to hold a grudge. Sadly though...It just seems like we will never have things back to normal. I dont know..maybe we just need time??
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 April 2009):
It could be that he never wanted you as a friend, he only ever saw you as something more.... But he didn't have the balls to tell you or make a move.
If you were really his friend then he would have replied and kept you around.
If you were a perfect angel that he was crushing on and then you come down off the pedestal and actually turn out to be human then it's no wonder he doesn't want to be around you any more. He's realised that he built you up in his head and you are not the person he imagined. That's not your fault, that's just him being stupid.
You have to give yourself closure on this one because he's not going to say anything to make you feel better.
He liked you, you dared to have an opinion of your own, he didn't like it and he's willing to throw a great friendship away because of that.
In my view that makes him a bit pathetic.
Think of him badly and you'll stop thinking of him as the one that got away. Then you can move on, remember the good AND bad times together and live happily ever after.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): What can I say, something like that happened to me but I calculated so it would happen, pretty messed up from e but if you really care about this guy and you cannot get it off ur mind just get ahold of him, if he won't let you then there's nothing you can do, he might not be interested, tell him that what he is acting like is telling you the he doesn't care(mske sure you actually do this) and the just see how it turns out, if he doesn't care you'll have plenty of time to get over it, he may come back to you after the whole situation is over, but that's another decision you will have to make. hope this helps, "friends last forever" if they don't then guess what... BTW I'm a peer counselor, am not really suppoused to give advice but to walk people through their problems but since I don't talk to you regularly and I had a similar situation, here's my piece of help.
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