A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am currently living with my girlfriend whom I've been dating for nearly a year now and she is pregnant with our first child. We fell in love while she was married to another man. I've always been slightly worried if she cheated on him she is capable of cheating on me (in her defense he was verbally and physically abusive to her) She has told me that was a one time thing that only happened because of how strongly she has always felt towards me. It became a bigger fear when I found out shes been downloading porn of other men masturbating even though in the past she mentioned while on the topic that she has no interest in porn especially now that she has found her one true love. Can she be faithful and based on everything I've stated should I be concerned?
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (12 September 2012):
I wish I had something else to tell you OP, but my experience with this type of scenario indicates that yes your girlfriend absolutely can cheat on you, too. When I met my ex-wife she was living with and engaged to another man. There were problems in the relationship, so when we hit it off I thought that maybe things would work out better for us. It was always a fear in the back of my mind that she could cheat, but I would tell myself not to worry.Well, I caught her cheating 6 or 7 years after our relationship started. Then I caught her again around the 10 year mark. I am sure that she had been consistently cheating for the last several years we were together. I filed for divorce and moved on.So I'm not saying that for sure your girlfriend will cheat on you. Nobody knows the future. What I will say is that I will never again get involved with a woman who has a history of cheating, even if I am the one she is cheating with. I believe once a cheater, always a cheater.Best of luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): It's hard to say whether or not she will cheat on you or leave you for another guy, only time can really tell. I've been in an abusive relationship, and I left; I didn't cheat. I was more worried about getting my life back than I was about getting a new partner. Personally, I feel that it's not really whether or not they are faithful, but WHY they are faithful. It would mean a lot more for a person to say "I'm faithful regardless of who I'm with" than it would for them to say "I'm faithful to you in particular because I love you." It's a moral thing, regarding abuse.You can expect the relationship to have its ups and downs; she has to be able to stay faithful and committed regardless of what the two of you go through, rather than her making exceptions to the rules.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 September 2012):
 I think I already answered another of your questions about her...
with her downloading the porn and lying about it right?
my first husband was emotionally abusive... I didn't cheat on him I left him
my second husband tried to kill me when he was high on crack that he got from his girlfriend... we were an LDR... I didn't cheat on him I left him.
THERE IS NO DEFENSE for cheating.
Could she cheat on you... perhaps.... if she has never cheated before she may never cheat again. if she has a pattern of using circumstances to explain her bad behavior over and over she may cheat again if you give her a good enough "cause".... do you see what I am saying... we can't tell....
while someone who cheats once may never cheat again (my dad in mid life is a good example) other folks will cheat over and over...
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 I am always weary of women who cheat and say they are physically abused. My mom has been in an abusive relationship almost her whole life. She couldn't have ever cheated because he didn't allow her out of his site. She is completely controlled and always has been and is terrified of him. Cheating and leaving him for another man doesn't seem like it'd be in the cards. Maybe it was a different kind of abusive relationship... But that's the one I've known and hear about, terrified of your husband. Cheating doesn't really show a fear of him. Nor is it really an excuse. You could still just leave. She obviously wasn't scared enough to not cheat so why not leave?
It's up to you to trust that she wouldn't cheat on you. It's possible she did it once and never will again. And it's possible that she certainly could if she had the right excuses to justify it for herself. I'd say everyone goes into a relationship with the chance a person could cheat, no one knows 100% that it could never happen. If they say they do then they are in a fantasy world. The fact that she has cheated before makes the chances a little greater that she could do it again. Its up to you to take that risk. Nothing is guaranteed and no one here can tell you if she will cheat or not. No one can predict the future. There is a possibility she could just like anyone else.
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