A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 9 years and I feel I deeply love my husband but after so long the "in love" stage seems to be gone.I am starting to think this is the reason why I have fallen in love with another man. I haven't told anybody and I don't plan to act on it.I am keeping this to myself because I want to be with my husband and don't want to have these feelings for anyone else.Maybe if we added some "spark" into our love life I could fall in love with him all over again?Any suggestions?Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers, especially "rcn" whose answer has been very thorough and informative. I have taken your advice and plan on suggesting it to my husband.
I really hope it works.
Thanks again.
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (8 October 2007):
Find something new you can do together with you husband. Try to get something he would like. Picnicing, hiking, model railroading, stamp collecting, refinishing furniture, the ideas are endless.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 October 2007):
 You said it add spark to your routine. All though you fell in love with another man. I really have to give you credit for your beliefs, morals and your ability to restrain yourself from acting on it. You husband is really lucky to have you.
You're in a rut. We get there sometimes. We start letting life run us, instead of taking control of our lives. Jobs, kids, obligations, are important, but somehow we begin ignoring our partner. Not that we don't feel love or respect for them, our time is divided in so many different directions, what's not staring us in the face at the time gets ignored.
Start off with a date night. Just because your married doesn't mean you can't go on dates. Do this once a week. Here's the catch. One week you plan it, then next week he plans it, and the person who did not plan that week can't know what you're doing until they show up. You make all the arrangements on your week, and he just shows up and does whatever you have in line for that evening, and the same with him. It may be dinner, movie, a walk in the park, doing something you enjoyed when you first got together and haven't done for quite a while.
The evening chosen has to be one where life interruptions won't interfere. The whole focus is for you two to completely enjoy each other.
I hope this works for you. I gave this same Idea to a friend of mine who was on the verge of getting divorced. They now schedule 2 hours a week, and their marriage has completely turned around. It's strange thinking about it. How many people get divorced where just a scheduled two hours would prevent that from happening?
Take care, I wish you the best in your future.
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