A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:One question....Can a relationship survive/work if you alienate your entire family on both sides??Anyone been in the situation where you have been in a relationship and your entire family are against you? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): I am the one that asked the question, wow thank you for all your responses, very mixed responses. It is not my family taht I have alienated. It is someone I know, they both had affairs and cheated on their fiancee/wife and then got together. His family are not interested and her family are lets say they do not approve, they have both changed alot as well and have no support. Both families used to go out for meals etc together and they have hurt alot of people in their journey to get where they are. So it is interesting to hear what peoples opinions are as when I speak to my friend he often asks about his family (I see them occaisonally) so I know he misses them and was sat hear thinking and thought I know I'll ask. Personally I think it is their choice what they do but my friend is not the same person anymore so I can see the change in him. I don't see much of her as I also do not condone what they did either. Thanks again
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (1 July 2011):
Yes it can, but that doesn't make it a good idea.
From an emotional mental health point of view, the healthy thing to do would be to keep the relationship if that is what you want, and let your family be against you, whilst not alienating them. To stay close to your family in the face of their disapproval, to stand up for yourself whilst accepting their point of view that they don't like what you are doing, but that you are going to do it anyway because it is what you truly want, that is the path to being true to who you are. It can be difficult, but if you can manage it you will be a better person for it, and your relationships will be stronger for it too.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (30 June 2011):
ive been in the same situation i was with this man for 3 and a half year nobody in my family spoke to me and we split up and i had no one i think you should never alienate your family as they are the one,s that are always there for you even if they don,t show it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2011): Well, I wouldn't write them off. I would continue with my life and they will adjust. Just don't push yourself onto them. right now they are probably trying to be emotional bullies to get you to do what they want. Set boundaries to protect your relationship. Continue to send cards, call on special occasions. My boyfriend and I have a similiar issue. his family doesn't approve of him with me, he doesn't have much to do with them, but I know in the future he may. If they respect you and love you they will come around. You can't live your life for others. And sometimes it take you setting your boundaries for yourself for people to respect them. Let them know you love them too, but this is your life and wish they would respect your wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 It can be very difficult to abandon both of your families and start somewhere else fresh. You only get one family and off course it is hard to wash your hands of them. It may happen that you both end up resenting each other for it. Think serious about what you really want in life. This is a big decision just make sure that it is the right one for you. Because if you fall out with your family now they may never forgive you if things go wrong. Why not try and talk to everyone and see if anything else can be arranged.
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