A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can a Man and Woman remain friends when they have mutually admitted an attraction for each other . I am divorced and have known the guy in question for ten years . He helped me emotionally by talking ( no sex !) through the break - up . However now we realise there are strong feelings of attraction that have developed . We cannot take the relationship any further because he is married . I have suggested stopping contact with him, but he wants to remain close . What should I do ? I am torn...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): you are already conducting an affair with a married man. don't delude yourself about this FRIENDSHIP. friends don't f*ck each other,
he wants to have an affair with you , that is all.
another of my many stories i keep sharing:
my hb has total distrust for cops. during domestic squabbles they are the emotional support for the traumatised wife. they assist the traumatised so much sexually that suddenly the traumatised wife is cured of her heartache by the very one resucing and emotionallt supporting her.
is this what happened to you. your good friend helped you through a breakup. when are you going to tell his wife you are now helping yourself to her husband.
LOLA, right on. couldn't have said it better. Friends, no way. F*ck buddies, only a matter of time. Wonder why you got divorced in the first place. no cheating involved by your hb, was there???? Stop fooling yourself. you do not want to be just his friend. you both are already having your affair. you know the devastation cheating causes. if you want to be just his f*ck buddy then you know what to do.
A
female
reader, lola80 +, writes (2 September 2009):
If you have both realised your are attracted to each other and discussed it , it sounds like you have already been having an emotional affair , I think by staying in contact the next definate step is a full blown affair !! Sorry to be blunt , but your both putting your hands out ot be slapped here and a lot of people could end up been hurt , I dont know if there children involved , but all i can advise is to cut contact now , I can understand how you will feel very torn and hurt and its not going to be easy , but believe me it will be the right thing to do and save you all from further hurt in the future , He is a married man , and as you know you were once someones wife and can you imagine how betrayed you would of felt if you found out your husband was that emotionally close to another woman never mind the thoughts of him having sex with someone , which i know hasnt happened but if your truthful and honest with yourself its the next step !! Hope you make the right decision for everyones sakeI honestly believe its us woman who need the will power and the morals to do the right thing , I understand your marraige break down was very hard to deal with and having someone comfort you was great , but dont turn that into something else , of course you were vunerable and he was there , im not saying to take advantage , but the fact your on here writing this says you have morals and know its not right , so best get out while you can huniTake care
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (2 September 2009):
 Hard question. It's great to have a friend that is there for you when you need support and someone to talk to, but not so great when they're married and you're attracted to each other. I'd say that if you don't think you can keep the relationship on a platonic basis then it might be best to distance yourself from him. Staying close will probably stop you from feeling too much for anyone else who comes along who is available, and at worst might lead to an affair which will most likely result in you getting seriously hurt. If he is so attracted to you that he would end his marriage if it meant not being around you any more, then that's what is meant to happen. I would keep in mind though, that if you've been 'genuine' friends for ten years, then you would know his wife and be friends with her also, and if you're not then I'd guess he has kept it that way for a reason. Good luck working it out. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Well the question really is do you think you can be just his friend. The thing is the closeness you shared when discussing your last relationship may be confusing you. I would suggest that you guys cool your friendhip for the moment and you get back out there.
I would say that his wife has been remarkably understanding of her husband spending so much time with a female friend. He sounds like a good guy, but there are more nice guys out there.
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