A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My case might be unique cause I am from a very conservative background. I am a very religious Hindu and i CANNOT go against my parents to marry a guy they disapprove of. But emotions took over me, and i fell in love for a Buddhist guy! He loves me soooooo much and when i took the case to my parents, they totally disproved of the guy, cause he was Buddhist. There is NO WAY my parents can give a YES to him. And although i kinda expected this, I still couldn't help myself from falling in love with that guy. There was no way i cud be happily married to him given the cultural and religious differences.So i had to call it off, due to practical issues. But it pains like hell!!! i love him soooo much, and so does he... but there is no way this can end in marriage! It pains to know that we had to split, with all the love still in our hearts. Even he is trying hard to live life without me and so am I! I am not able to forget him although i know this will not work out. Its been a month now and I feel that I'll be in love with him forever, and just stuck there, without being able to move on with another guy my parents show! Please help. How do i move on? I feel totally devastated!!!!
View related questions:
fell in love, move on Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, summerslady21 +, writes (13 May 2009):
Don't part yourself from him the heart tells more than you think you are in love so is he. Culture and religion has nothing to do with falling in love! If you love him as much as you say then your parents will accept it as long as you are happy that's what matters! I say get it back together do what's right for you and your life! This may sound harsh so I'm sorry ahead of time but your parents will not always be here for you maybe this is the person you are to spend your life with. You can always work around the family beliefs and still be involved with them! Honey I say go for him happiness and everything your relationship was and is about! You are the only person who knows what is best for you! Good luck sweety and you only have the chance to live life once so live it for you!
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (13 May 2009):
You are not alone or unique, this is one of the oldest problems in the book - Romeo and Juliet, not religions but the same basic story.
Don't let something as silly as religion stand in your way, so what if you believe in different things, love is love and I think all religions believe in that, if you can't have a religious marriage can you have a civil ceremony, what is more important, your parents superstitions or your happiness and marrying the man you love?
This is the problem with religion, it's all about my way is right your way is wrong, who cares, as long as you are happy!
...............................
A
male
reader, CommonSpencer +, writes (13 May 2009):
In my mind religion causes more problems than it helps. Love is real, but I hardly believe in my opinion that any god exists in this crumby world, but that said if you love the guy, you love the guy regardless of what religion you believe in. He is willing to accept you, but your parents must mean allot to you, to break it off like that. I have seen Jews and Catholics get married and have long happy marriages so its all about what you want to do with your life, but then again I don't know how it is to live where your from. The rules might be completely opposite of the U.S. where anyone can marry each other without fear of judgment.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): dont move on, you and this guy should be together! everyone wishes they could meet a nice decent person to be with! and some people never find that! you would be mad to let this man go! i know your family are against it! but we are only here once! so you have to live life to the full! stop putting everyones happiness before your own! you could end up in marriage that your not happy in! if this man is the one you could see yourself with forever then go for it! your family will just have to respect your decision! if your family love you then they will stick by you and support your decision!
...............................
A
male
reader, OtherStarfish +, writes (13 May 2009):
you should be pleased of what you shared with him, whoever follows will find it difficult - but follow they will.
to get over someone special is difficult - no doubt about it. on this post are my tips - they may work for you? but that will be up to you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-move-on-after-breaking-up.html
Hug, Star.x.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Before you do anything, tell your parents how you feel and say that you repect their descisions but you really love him and he's a fantastic person who will care for you for the rest of your life. Remember it is your life and your desicion. If says yes then take him to your house and show them what a great person he is but if they say no then you do need to move on. It will be very hard to start with but eventually you will get to know him. before you know it you will be falling in love with a caring, lovely Hindu man who your parents approve of.
...............................
A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (13 May 2009):
I was in a similar situation in my early 20s: I am a practicing Catholic and I fell in love with a divorced man... Long story short, same issue as you're facing, just different people.
First of all I have to ask: are you a good Hindu and would you expect to raise your children as such?
When I ended my relationship with my ex, I felt like dying and couldn't date anyone for 2 years, yet I've come to realise that sharing the same beliefs and values as your husband is paramount in raising a happy family.
Yet some couples manage, perhaps choosing who will be in charge of traditions and religion or leaving the kids to find their own path...
I would be inclined to talk to your parents, tell them about this guy, the love you feel for each other and ask for their advice.
You might find your family is more open than you think... or you might find opposition but support for your choice to end your relationship.
Time will heal the heart-ache.
Whatever you do, don't rush and really think about and discuss your options and reasons with your loved ones.
God bless you and good luck :-)
...............................
|