A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 7 months left a six weeks ago to live in another state for work for a few months. The first 3 weeks he was calling every day and then the phone calls started to come less frequently.During the 4th week, I went to visit him. The trip was my idea, my planning, my pushing..We had fun - but he was distant. Less affectionate than before. (he was never an overtly emotional guy) But this was like he had a wall up. He didn't tell me he loved me the entire time (even though he was freely saying it before he left)It got so weird - that I asked him if he was unhappy, wanted to break up or what? He said nothing has changed and that he still loves me.Finally, he promised to try harder to show me affection.I left for home, he called once and I did not return the call because I was upset. He waited an entire week to call again and finally I spoke to him last night after he called . I asked what was going on with him going MIA for a week - and he rushed me off the phone.We started to text and he said again that nothing was wrong - that it was all my imagination.But it's not. Women - you know the gut feeling! Something isn't right. I know he is extremely stressed with work and can't wait to get out of there and return home. (should be in another 2 months)So what do I do with someone who DENIES he is being different, and avoids just talking about his feelings?? I feel like he is almost forcing it so that I break up with him after I get totally fed up with being neglected.So do I break up or stick it out and see what happens when he gets back? I'd be breaking up with him in the hopes that he "gets the message" that he has to put in effort. He told me that several of his ex's told him he was too selfish when they ended it with him .. and I'm totally seeing it too.Break up or stay together?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to anonymous reader who told me to get a life. You are right ! I tried all other appoaches - it just feels like that is a bit of a game and I thought we were past that point. Sadly he is not responding to me telling him my needs - so what else can I do. I guess my question was break up with him Now and get on with my life or just get on with my life and not bother informing him. Just start seeing other people and when he finally gets his head out of his ass - I'll explain that I wasn't going to wait around forever.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): Get a life! Yes get out more and he'll realise that your world doesn't revolve around him. My man is also lacking on the emotional side of things, but i've decided that i'm not going to nag but instead live my life! And he is now trying to actually be the man in my life. I've even met someone and having him sort of makes me less and less needy and i think he senses that i'm not into him like before and he inturn is now very affectionate. Trust me it works. Ignore him and he'll realise your worth. And if doesn't then he wasnt yours to begin with. Please dont nag, keep busy and it may be difficult at first but if you keep at it you'll see the results in no time. Live your life!
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