A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I read someone elses story and mine relates a bit. I am really hurting bad and I need advice. My girlfriend recently left me. A bit more than a month ago. We were together for 12 years. We were always good together. No cheating, no fighting. She decided she wanted a baby but I wasn't ready for it yet so she kind off forgot about it to and the relationship went on as usual. All of a sudden she started losing weight and started new hobbies like mountain biking, working out and hiking. Seeing as we never did these things before I never showed interest in them. The baby subject came up again and then a few days later she left. I was and still am devistated... I'm so lost without her.. About 3 weeks after she left she met someone else. Mr perfect. Does cycling, works out and is a fitness freak. I don't think she ever greaved or showed any sadness for us. Makes me feel like I wasn't ever anything to her....and that she maybe prepared for this in a way. She looks so happy while I'm stuck alone and in pain. What's happening? What's going on in her mind? Is this a rebound guy? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sugarplum786 +, writes (18 July 2013):
 Unfortunately, after 12 years you have made the relationship more permanent. Appreciate the time you had, and look at it as you both have reached the end of the road and have different dreams in life. Assume you had the child with her, you may not have been happy as it was not what you wanted. Hence my comment look at it as a chapter that closes and a new one open. You will also meet someone else and move on. Its part of life the ups and downs, we just need to make sure that we get up and dust our selves and move on. Stop wondering why , but and if....not relevant, move on and be happy.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 July 2013):
 Perhaps she met him while you two were together and while she may not have cheated on you, what happened was your wants and her wants no longer were the same.
She is probably around your age and after 12 years she WANTS A CHILD and you do not. THAT alone is a deal breaker.
Then she got healthy (losing weight and exercising) and you did not participate with that either.
So then the baby came up AGAIN and it became clear to her that she could not have her dream if she stayed with you so she left...
I doubt she is happy about leaving a partner of 12 years but for many having children is a deal breaker point.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): So, she met someone. Mr. Perfect. Everything your NOT,according to you. You should be happy for her. She have given you enough chance of 12 years.
It was way too long.
You should have asked her to marry you. You had that chance but you badly blew it. Now your sorry. However Its too late.
What to do?
12 years is hard to forget.
and its just 3 weeks ago.
Move on. Try to move on, be happy for her, wish her well and kiss her memories goodbye.
If you really love her, you should be happy for what makes her happy. If Mr. Perfect makes her happy, Let her Go.
Because if you can't that's not love but obsession.
Obsession is not a good thing. It can make you do bad things. Before you knew it will make you stalk her.
Stalking her will not make her come back to you, It will just scare and make her hate you.
Most of all try reading my article about forgetting someone (the quickest way) it might help you. because that is the best thing to do for now.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 July 2013):
 I'm guessing she was with him before your relationship ended, and she had already disconnected from you long before she actually broke up with you. I'm guessing that the moment you two had an issue with parenting, she stayed with you, but in her mind that was it.
She's had time to disconnect from your relationship emotionally, but you didn't have time and it came as a surprise to you, which is why you are hurting.
I don't know that she never grieved, because 12 years is a long time, but she didn't show you that she grieved, and she's ahead of the process now.
Trust me, the relationship ending did affect her.
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