A
female
age
30-35,
*Bolton
writes:Iv been in a relationship for 3 years and in that time by boyfrind has continued to gain weight. Not takes no real care in his appearance. And then wonders why i dnt find him sexually attractive and even blames me for it.Iv remained a size 8 since we meet, i always take great thought into my appearance because i want him for find me sexually attactive. Iv tried to meantion it to him but he doesn't seem to care. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him but i dnt want to find in 15 years time that iv started to find him even less attractive. which i worry will cause me to stray. the rest of our relationship is great. but how do i get him to see that he is the one causing us to have a sex life lackin in passion?
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male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 You don't understand that it is not always easy for people to lose weight, or maintain a healthy weight. Try to have some compassion in this situation. You can drop a few hints if you really want him to be thinner. But if he is not interested in dieting or exercising, you can't force him.I know that you have good intentions though. I hope it works out somehow.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 He's partially to blame, but so are you. The fact that you don't find him attractive anymore is your hang-up. The more deeply you love someone, the less something like that matters.A few things you can try to get him to want to change (because he will only change if he wants to). Ask him how he would like it if you ballooned up. Find ways to incorporate exercise and activity into your dates. Go on bike rides, walks in the park, hiking trips, you get the picture. Explain that you're worried about his health. Heart disease and diabetes are two of the largest health problems in industrialized nations right now because of obesity. Maybe find a way to motivate him. Go to the gym together and then get freaky afterword. Sex burns more calories than walking a mile, maybe having a lot of sex could help burn that excess fat...I think you see where I'm going. I hope you can find a solution that works for both of you. Remember, people only change because they want to for themselves, anything else is temporary. You have to make HIM want to change for HIMSELF.
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