A
female
age
51-59,
*ussiedreamz
writes:My boyfriend I have lived with for the past 5 years now wants his almost 17 year old son to come and live with us.The Mother has made no effort in allowing contact between them and had only called once to ask for him to sign the boys birth certificate over to his Stepfathers name,at that time she got quite nasty.At one point she told my partner to not contact them at all.This boy has a multitude of problems,for one,he got kicked out of school and is home schooled.He has the maturity of a 10 year old and is in constant trouble for stealing and other things.I now want to tell you about what I have dealt with from my partner the last 5 years....constant cheating.He is such a womaniser that he has been found out many times calling other women,seeing other women,trying to line up dates with other women.I have been through so much with him and you probably all wonder why I have stayed,I can honestly say I have a forgiving heart and love him,crazy I know.I don't think the cheating has got to the point where he slept with any of them but as far as I am concerned it is still cheating.Recently he took a job 2 hours away and comes home once a week,he stays in a caravan in the town where he works and comes home every chance he can.He works 12 hour days.His EX called and said that her husband moved out because of the boys behaviour,that she wants to try and work things out with him and wanted my partner and I to take him for two weeks.Our relationship has not been going so well lately,we have been arguing and it's usually about the same thing,his womanising.He cannot even walk into a shopping centre with me without having to make eye contact with every single gorgeous woman and speak to her,it's wearing me down.I told my partner that under the circumstances it would not be a good idea to bring the boy into this relationship the way things are and my partner lack of support emotionally towards me at times.I try and speak to him about things and he shuts me out,he blames me for the arguing when it is because of his womanising that we argue,nothing else.I got a phone call this morning from him in an angry voice telling me clearly he was calling up the Mother and taking his son,end of story,full stop.That this is his boy and he needs to do what he has to do,with or without me.I then ask him how is he going to do this when he is working 12 hour days and lives in a small van??He stated that he will and the boy can stay with him.I explained to him that things are not good between him and I and he showed no concern for this only stating that he was sick of the arguing and would do what he has to do for his son.What do I do here?I am now going to have to deal with the lack of maturity from not only my partner but his son as well?Do I move out or do I support him when he doesn't support me at times?What do I say to him?it seems his mind is made up regardless of what I think.
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female
reader, Having Problems???  +, writes (9 November 2011):
first of all i have no idea why you have put up with this for so long! relationships r not only a 1 way street! this man is clearly not mature enough to handle a proper relationship! if i were you i would get out while you still can! i know you love him and it may be the hardest thing you have to do but you deserve better! surely he's not the only 1 that gets to be happy?? relationships are a two way street! he clearly has baggage to sort out himself! it is his troubled son and if he wants to take responsability for him then so he should but the way he has treated you is unforgivable! you deserve better and he has some growing up to do! maybe with any luck his troubled son will help him to grow up a bit! all the best! x
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