A
female
age
41-50,
*eashalyn1
writes:I just found out that my boyfriend is signed up for a few dating site and signed up recently. I know from our past he's just gonna say it was for point for some game he's playing but am I the only one that thinks is disrespectful and sneaky? This is really hurting my feelings and he's just not getting it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, citadel  +, writes (15 June 2012):
Play in his ball park, see if he likes it.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (15 June 2012):
 You have three kids...I am wondering what your sex life is like, it can be tough to even keep a sex life going when you have young kids around.
We are seeing a trend on DC, Some men think it's ok to start looking for someone else to get attention and sex from if their wife/girlfriend's libido has dropped since she had the kids...
IT'S NOT OK!!! It's NEVER OK!!
The internet makes it way too easy to do shit behind a partners back. It's become so prevalent, people think 'Well everyone else is doing it, it must be ok'...but it isn't ok...personally I absolutely find it disrespectful and disgusting.
Women are vulnerable when they have kids, they often can't work full time, if at all and become finacially dependant on their partner, their bodies change, their sex drive takes a back seat and their life is no longer their own because they have to focus on the children first...
A lot of men do not understand this and if they arn't getting attention, they look for it elsewhere. They think a woman owes them because she is now dependant and for some women it becomes a balancing act to keep the kids happy on one side and the partner happy on the other...so who's looking out for her???
You need to talk to him, and if necessary get your family on board to speak to him... He's being a jerk!!
I agree with Honeypie...print it out and confront him, he needs to see that what he is doing has no excuse.
Let us know how you get on.
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A
female
reader, Seashalyn1 +, writes (14 June 2012):
Seashalyn1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want things to work but yea he can be an @$$ we've been together 6 years and have 3 beautiful kids. I'm taking all advice to heart so please keep it coming. Thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2012): you cant win. if you stay he will get the message that he can do exactly what he pleases because you are afraid to leave. well dont be afraid to leave. be afraid to stay.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 June 2012):
 I agree with Auntie Em. If he is on DATING sites, he is looking to see what's out there. Which means he isn't happy with what he got (you) and think he can do better.
Dating sites and hook up sites are not for shits and grins. They are made for people to find dates and hook ups.
So, if you know for a fact 100% that he DID sign up and is active, print it out, show it to him and decide what YOU want.
Do you want a guy who thinks the grass is greener elsewhere or do you want a guy who will respect you and the relationship? Do you think he is actually capable of the latter?
How long have you been together?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2012): I have been where you are. It does not get better, if anything, it will go worse. Do not accept any bullshit, lies or blame for it. He knows exactly what he is doing.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (14 June 2012):
If he's on dating sites, he's looking to meet other people.
Not sure how long you have been dating or if your relationship is committed but if he is your boyfriend and you guys are going out, then I'd say what he is doing is sneaky and hurtful.
If he makes some lame excuse to cover his tracks it's up to you whether you choose to believe it or not...but I'd say the evidence is pretty damning and he intends to 'connect' with other people on a dating level...
That's what dating sites are for.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2012): The only option you have is to dump his narcissistic cheating ^^^. Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include any combination of the following, or even all of these symptoms:- Believing that you’re better than others- Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness- Exaggerating your achievements or talents- Expecting constant praise and admiration- Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly- Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings- Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans- Taking advantage of others and then justifying your actions- Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior- Being jealous of others or always being suspicious of others motives- Believing that others are jealous of you and suspicous of your motives- Trouble keeping healthy relationships, especially with the opposite sex
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2012): the same thing happened to me. My bf signed up to dating site a little while ago and i dont know what to do because since i found out im thinking of all the things he could of done now. I trusted him before this but since he didnt upload a pic or talk to any women I have decied I am just going to try and get over it. It really hurt me too but I either forget about it ND STAY with him or break up with him.....this was a big dilemma for me but at the end of the day I do love him. Has he shown other signs of cheating on you or has he spoken to any women? if not then maybe let it go THIS time x
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A
female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (14 June 2012):
 I've been in your shoes and its not good. You're right! It's disrespectful and sneaky. Obviously this guy is all about himself. A better man is an honest one.
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