A
female
age
51-59,
*isey
writes:I've just got my divorce papers and feel very sad about it. Don't want to be married to my ex husband. I'm with a wonderful man for over 2 years now. The only problem is he I feel he don't support me emotional. I really didn't think I would feel upset about the divorce but I am. The papers came on Thursday and my boyfriend hasn't phone me or text me anything to support me. I know he has to work and he has children but sometimes it would be nice if he could just call or come over and give me a cuddle. When there is a problem with us he goes to work (he is a london cabbie) and when he turns up he acts like there is nothing wrong.And when we talk he always makes out its me that is moaning ... he can always turn it around and then I feel its my fault.Help please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 May 2011):
Sometimes, people (more women than men, it seems), get divorced and then choose another guy who's just as bad because he's familiar, rather than better.
I wonder if this is what has happened to you? Think back to your marriage, and look at what went wrong there. Was your husband cold, emotionally distant, a liar etc? Because I will bet that he treated you in the same way as this new boyfriend will. This new guy is clearly not emotionally able to connect to you or support you. And even when you talk about it, he kind of emotionally abuses you by throwing it back in your face and blaming you.
You are in a period where the final connection between your ex husband and you is being severed - and that's a lot of emotional upheaval, even after years. But your boyfriend simply can't connect to that - he does't really seem to care at all, actually.
I would suggest that you sit down alone and really, really think about this relationship, and whether this so called wonderful guy is in fact just another guy who's just going to hurt you.
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