A
female
age
36-40,
*ute
writes:I'm been with my boyfriend for almost 3 yrs. and I hate it when he tells me a story and leave out (the important parts) but when his friends are over he tells them the real thing. Also I don't like it when he gets to stop and talk to females he use to work with, or met threw someone, and gives them our house # but when I stop to talk to a guy he wants to know who it is, and where I know him from. And the funny part is I wouldn't even try to give a guy our house # because I already know that it would be a problem. Sometimes I want to go a strike by doing all the things he does but 10x worse because I don't think it's fair but that would only lead to us fighting like cats and dogs and me leaving. Also I don't think it's fair for him to go online and some how check who I've been looking up on myspace and question me about it but I can't do the same to him because I don't know computers very well.
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male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Dear mute
it seems that your bf is a control freak, you must talk to him and get him to see how much he is hurting you, it seems strange after three years of you living together that he is treating you like this, dont let him get the better of you,if he continues the way he is your life will come worthless, you dont want that to happen, if he loves you why is he meeting other females and giving them your address ??,if you do talk to him and he continues, then i would consider a new bf you cant have some-one treating you like a door mat, you deserve a lot more than the way he is treating you now,i really would consider moving on if he continues with this unreasonable attitude towards you, you deserve better.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 You do need to talk to your boyfriend. The longer you let him think he can get away with this behavior, the worse it will get. He will become accustomed to the concept he has the right to check up you, based on the fact you let him do it. Set new boundaries. You should not have to pay a price for something you didn't do.
It's difficult for men not to question the intentions of other men around our partners. We know how many men think. That is just an explanation of his actions, not an excuse.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 October 2007):
 It's time for you to renegotiate the boundaries of this relationship. You can't totally place blame on him for this. Let's say you were someone who maybe had been cheated on in the past. You then go into the next relationship with this fear of being hurt, or thinking they would do the same thing. Giving your number out, fine you know how you ourself act, the other person, sign of being unfaithful as the last person.
You need to sit down with him and let him know what behaviors you don't appreciate, and that you've never given him a reason to doubt your trust, so you deserve to be treated with respect. Also remind him that being with him is a choice, not your obligation, and these behaviors could at some point prompt you into making a different choice.
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