A
female
age
26-29,
*trawberryYouth
writes:Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We have a long distance relationship, but we're planning to see each other soon. We still talk over the phone and on web cam. So, lately My boyfriend has been acting weird. I'm not ready to end it because I need to find out if he really loves me or not, and it would really devastate me if we ever broke up. On the other hand, he's just not being himself. He sleeps a lot more now, and it's like he's totally ignoring how I feel about it since we are in a 3 hour difference time zone and we barely talk now. He used to be really caring, and affectionate, but now it's like he's backed down, and wants nothing to do with me, and wants time to himself. I have no problem with that, but he still calls me and then tells me we aren't on a "break" anymore, which he called off last night.(He has suggested a break, twice now) He says he wants to kill himself, and when I ask him what's wrong, and he just tells me that it's nothing. He's messing with my feelings, and it's really confusing. I'm scared, and worried. One minute he loves me, the next he wants a break, but then the break is held off, and all affection is gone? I know I have had people to just tell me to end it, but I really love this boy and he's attached to my life... I really need another opinion rather than just ending it, because it's something I just cannot bring myself to do. When I talk to him about it, he just gets mad at me because he thinks I don't trust him, when I really do even though he has left me once before. I would like to talk about it to friends, but they just tell me to find better. I honestly cannot see myself without this boy, we've just been through so much. I want to ask him why he is acting this way, but he will just tell me he isn't acting any different, and that will be that. I've done everything I can to prove my love for him. It also really sucks because he's not awake, and I'm stuck waiting hours for a reply. I really need help with this, it's tearing me apart, and It's affecting my school grades because I cannot concentrate. Is there possibly someone else? or maybe he just isn't interested anymore? He tells me he loves me, but he's changed everything he's done for me completely. Should I just wait it out? What if he's just letting me down easy, with this on and off "break"? Help!
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a break, broke up, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, StrawberryYouth +, writes (8 September 2010):
StrawberryYouth is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow, that helped me out a lot. I'm going to look deeper into this one soon. Thank you HerLovelyWorld for the advice, I really appreciate it. 3
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): It sounds to me like your boyfriend has a lot of personal demons that he’s dealing with. He’s hot one minute, and cold the next, and it’s obvious that you’re going through a great deal of heartache because of it. I don’t think he’s making all of these “breaks” to let you down easy, I think he’s doing it because he’s going through a selfish phase in his life and he doesn’t want to drag you down with him. It might be better to step down and let him work through his issues alone. I understand that you love him, and you’re in love with him to the point that this is wrecking your nerves… but it’s only going to get worse if he doesn’t figure his stuff out. I think that if you keep the relationship going, you’re going to end up more hurt in the long run because of his actions. Telling you that he wants to kill himself is a huge red flag. The boy needs help.
You ARE young, and this won’t be your last relationship if you break it off. ? You can refer to it as a stepping stone, or a bigger break until he fixes his priorities. Bottom line: It’s affecting your school work and your personal life. There are more red flags than the suicidal thoughts, and you would be better off focusing on yourself for a little while and not worrying about whether he’ll be hot or cold with you. By breaking it off indefinitely, he might realize that he needs to work on his issues and be very grateful to you for it in the long run. If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out at some point, but that’s not going to happen at this point. I’m sorry that you’re hurting, and I wish you luck!
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A
female
reader, StrawberryYouth +, writes (8 September 2010):
StrawberryYouth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, rubaab. Honestly, I have been thinking there is someone else. I'm at complete loss of words for him. There is not much I can do to have him prove to me that he loves me, and there is no one else. He just tells me there isn't and it isn't pressed any further, because I'm afraid he will get mad at me and try to leave me.. He refuses to talk to me about anything. But thank you for the suggestion, it is good to know you have gone through the same thing and I'm no the only one.
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A
female
reader, rubaab +, writes (8 September 2010):
hello dear !
i had same problem. i was in long distance relationship . one day my boy friend left me. i loved him so much in fact i still love him. he was tired of situation. he did not want to live far. he could not move here also i could not move there. i dont want to hurt you but may be he is dateing with some one ealse . he started to ignore you but he could not tell you the true. to be honest he dont love you. there is lot of couples who are in ldr . they are far from each other years and years. they love each other. but i think your boy friend is same like my boy friend.
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