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male
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anonymous
writes: I had an affair with my married work colleague earlier this year. She promised me that i was the one she wanted to be with, then decided to stay with her husband. That was hard enough to get over, but at least we saw each other at work and there were still feelings between us. While still seeing each other i had hope i may be able to win her back one day. Now we have both been made redundant so we can't have this contact at work. Her husband has banned all contact out of work but i still love her. I know she still loves me as well from the little stolen moments together. What can i do now to try and get her back. Please help as i'm going mad without seeing her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2006): Amen! to what Wild Taing has written!
I know you don't feel like it now, but being made redundant and unable to see her any more, is a great opportunity for you to put the affair behind you and get on with your life - not to mention finding another job!
She HAS made her choice. YOU have no choice but to respect it.
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (7 August 2006):
 She has made her choice. It was fun while it lasted, but she decided that the tasty side dish was no match for the main course.
Regardless of what YOU think she might feel for you, she will not leave her husband - she has made the choice, and it is NOT YOU! It is time for you to move on. That is the best advice you will get on this forum. To think that she would now leave her stable life with her husband for you is pure folly.
Furthermore, you have some healing to do. You must not think much of yourself to settle for sloppy seconds from a married woman. Therefore, in order to rebuild your self-esteem, you should spend time finding yourself again. This piece of advice flows from the first bit I gave you earlier.
Good luck and take care.
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