A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and her husband are going through a rocky time. Married for over twenty years and she is not in love with her husband anymore. But they have been in an open relationship for the last few years. Both of them seeing other people occasionally. It was his idea to start this. It seems that she has fell out of love with him. She loves him but not in love. She says she gets more excited waiting for one of her dates than seeing her own husband. Recently he had secretly recorded us at her house. We were having typically girl talk she was discussing him and their problems. I guess he did not like what he heard. He has now asked her to leave the house when he is home. He works away from home 3 days a week. So when he's there she gets a hotel. When he's away she can stay there. She has good job and children are grown. She is very upset about being secretly recorded. What helpful advice can I give her?
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male
reader, Crux +, writes (17 June 2009):
The "open marriage" thing doesn't work, or ends up not working for the VAST majority of people who do it. I would say the marriage was almost certainly doomed to fail when they decided to do this. It's sad really.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Well I guess from the time the "solution" was to see other people they should have divorced and moved on from each other, I have no idea what they both had hoped for from seeing other people and to still be together. For adults I find your friend and her husband are acting like little *****.
What I found weird, was her being upset about being recorded...when obviously she was discussing all the problems she has with him to you. Usually you'd wanna talk it over with the guy 1st if its bad if u wanted to work it out. If she doesn't wanna work it out although i think it's too late, she should just move out, divorce and all that.
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A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (14 June 2009):
By "open relationship", husbands mean they will sleep around and the wife will stay home (alone) and clean the house and cook me dinner, damn it!
My advice is for you to get out the relationship and quit sticking your nose in other people's affairs.
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