A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have just paid thousands of pounds to be on holiday at the same time as my boyfriend. Out of 14 days we spent three days together. Most of the time was fun but some of the time he just kept picking at me and trying to humiliate me.I have returned home nearly two weeks and left him there and he has not called me once to find out if we got back OK. I am hearing from friends that he is dossing around at different places.I am considering our relationship. I am 46 nearly and when away I saw the most weddings and wished it was me. I want more commitment - we are not even living together. We have know each other for 26 years. We started seeing each other again 9 years ago and have a 6 year old that he loves to bits.I plan to speak to him sternly when he returns but I hate living by myself and having to hide the truth of our relationship from friends. It was so nice that time together and I would like more of it on a permanent basis. He keeps making excuses.Has any one got any suggestions or advice - the holiday was the first time we have been initimate for over a year as I have been blowing cold. I dont plan to make him use me on his return unless we sort out something - do you agree?Any comments or suggestions welcomed.
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (22 August 2009):
 You will never have the relationship with him that you want.
It's been nine years this time. You don't live with him, your friends don't know you're together, you spent 3 days out of 14 with him and he doesn't even care enough to pick up the phone and see how you are? He is nowhere near marriage material. I'd say he is stringing you along because you tolerate getting a couple of crumbs out of him. A couple of days of romance, a little sex, and he sees how happy you are and that you're willing to chase after him and put up with his crap.
Since he has fathered your child, he will always have to be in your life a bit but you need to put a stop to any hopes of romance. It will never happen between you and him, so deal with him as your child's father and stop putting up with his foolishness.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): Well I was in the same situation w/ my now fiance.We met in high school & been together ever since. We also have a almost 3 year old daughter. About 4-5 months ago I started bring the topic of getting married up. He kept telling that's he wasn't ready. We didn't start live together til about 11 months ago. So I just gave him an ultimatum. We get married or I'm out. & he realized that he was gonna lose me & our daughter. So he purposed 2 months later. Be stern & tell him that he needs to grow up & take responsibility for what he chose in life. Be strong & don't give up. Good luck !!!
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