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Been together 5 years, shes never strayed like before, but now shes putting him first! Is she cheating ?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 February 2007)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with the same girl for over 5 years. It is a very compicated situation but she has strayed in relationships in the past but never with me she always said I was different she could never hurt me. Lately it seems she is interested in someone who is much much younger than her, but insists she only likes him as a friend. He is much younger but looked up her phone number and has called her several times and hung up when anyone answers, until recently. My girlfriend takes the phone into other rooms and closes the door so no one knows who it is or anything, if she wasnt hidin g something she wouldnt do that. She seems very defensive of him because he is "an innocent kid" and says she is just being friendly because he has no one. I think that there is more to the whole thing than she is letting on. I asked her to stop talking to him and she wont because she says she is not doing anything wrong. I think if she loved me after seeing how depressed I am she would stop for me. Her excuse is that she cant be so mean to just ignore someone for no reason. I cant eat or sleep anymore. She assures me there is nothign going on but I am extreamly suspicious of the whole situation. Does anyone know what I should do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007):

Your problem is not him, your problem is her behaiviour. Her secrecy, and her lack of respect for you. So take the power back - tell her to invite him round for dinner. Tell her that if he has become her friend, and it is causing you to be insecure because she is being really secretive about the whole relationship, she should respect your situation and allow you to meet him so that you can check the situation. So for that reason, tell her you want to meet him. That way you get to see how they both react. I think there might not be anything going on yet but it could become a possibility in the future, and even if not, you have a right to do something to feel secure, and she should help you with this.

If he is just a friend, you have no right to tell her not to see him, you don't get to choose her friends for her, but you can explain that you don't like the secrecy, and put yourself in the middle of that relationship and assert your position, show him that you are the man she is with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

sorry mate but i tend to run the theory that a leopard never changes its spots, cheats cheat mostly because the thrill, easy sex no commitment.

and from what youve said it sounds like shes hidding a pretty big secret there. lots of people who cheat say 'i'll never do it again' but people should never say never.

sorry to be blunt mate but i say you shoot from the hip, tell her you think shes cheating and that your leaving the relationship.

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