A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last week I interrogated my boyfriend after he went out one night. I didn't hear from him at all that night which is fine, but I usually get a phone call when he gets home regardless what time and didn't get one. The next day he didn't call me until after he got off of work which by then I was irritated from not hearing from him. I tried not to be, but I couldn't control my feelings. I was supposed to come over, but he said that he was having a buddy over so he doesn't know what time would be good for me to come hang out. Finally he called back and ask for me to come over.When I got there, I was in a funky mood and didn't let it go. We bickered for a bit then dropped it. The next morning he left for work and kissed me good bye like always. I texted him later apologizing about my behavior and that I knew I was out of line and that I know he loves me. Didn't hear from him all day not even after work. He is clock work about calling me. Always as soon as he gets in the car, he calls me. Finally around 6:30 I called him and he picked up (good sign to me), but he sounded indifferent and not excited to hear from me. I asked him if he was mad at me and he said that he had been thinking about the way I'd always act when he goes out and it really bothered him. I said sorry and we dropped it. Talked about our day, and he said he would call me the next day.Well 2 going on 3 days and I haven't heard from him. I don't know if I should contact him or give him some time to calm down. I think I have been a little bit more clingy and needy then add on the interrogation I think it finally sent him over a bit.Should I leave him alone for a couple more days?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Watch some Pepe le pew cartoons instead of writing that letter. Envision that you are Pepe and your boyfriend is the object of Pepe's affection.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGoblinKing,
I want to really follow your advice and send a letter, but I am extremely afraid that if I do that he will accept it and it will be the end of us.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 May 2010):
I agree with the sister, leave him be for awhile. In fact let him be the first to call. And in the future try to control that clinginess, it's a real turn off.
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A
male
reader, GoblinKing +, writes (10 May 2010):
Here's what's happening:He wants you to think you're pushing him away by being "needy" or "desperate" or "clingy." He's not communicating with you and is going to try to make it seem like this is all of your fault, which it isn't.His behavior is really suspicious but he's most likely never going to tell you what he's feeling. Especially if you end up begging for answers. The only way to get him to talk is to turn the tables, instead of thinking you're gonna end up losing him by being "needy" make him think he's gonna end up losing you. Send a formal, short letter to him saying "Hi, I think it'd be best if we spent time apart. I have some big decisions to make. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't contact me during this time. I'll be in touch when I'm ready." (This is the no contact letter)He's either gonna respect your request and not contact you, or he's gonna start bugging you to break no contact. You're just giving him what he wants, right? Lots of space to miss you. It's gonna drive him crazy. When you do get in touch again after a week or two (or three) take things slowly.
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