A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi i have been with my bf for over 10 months 2 weeks ago out of the blue he told me its not working out and he dumps me. I find out that he did not like certain things i did but never went as far as this before. I lied to him for a good reason and other things but i was stopping myself from carrying on that wau but he still dumped me i really love him and feel i cant let go like this he wont answer my texts or calls and wont see me id like advice what to do he even preposed to me a few months before please dont tell me to move on as its what everybody is telling me to do and i know that i cant id really like some good advice please and thank you for your time
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female
reader, natmarie +, writes (9 October 2010):
 HI. I'm sorry you are going through this. It is really hard. I am going through the same thing. I think the thing is to take it one day at a time. Try your hardest not to call or text him. See how you feel in a month or so, but at leats give yourself a chance to heal. It would be better to completley disspear than keep calling him or texting him. That way he will wonder where you are, and what you are doing.I hope this helps a bit. Natmairexx
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (9 October 2010):
 Unfortunately, everyone is right. You need to move on, because you don't want to end up or seem as if you are a psychotic stalker. Have you heard the saying, "actions speak louder than words?" This is where you are now. You need to look at your life, and what caused this breakup, and solve the changes you planned on making. By doing so, if it is meant to be with him, he'll be able to see the changes in you, and may be more open to giving you another chance. People are use to hearing, "I'll change", which ends up being short term and it ends up being over anyway, only with a slight delay in the process.
Real change comes from you doing it for you. Sure it'd benefit him or others you may have in your life, but if the only reason for change is to please or keep someone else, the change is short lived, because proper motivation is not the underlying factor of the change. It hurts and it's difficult, but what's best for you now is to work on yourself and make the changes you set out to make, then attempt to establish contact again. By doing it your way, you'll only end up permanently loosing him.
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