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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has issues with my past, because before I even met him, I gave a former friend with benefits a BJ (I was a teenager back then). That former friend with benefits introduced me to my boyfriend a couple years after the BJ.Of course, in the beginning, my boyfriend didn't know about my history with that guy. I was a virgin, and my boyfriend is a bit older, so we had the first time sex talk. He told me he had had sex with his ex girlfriend. I told him I once gave a guy a BJ. He didn't ask who, or anything really, like it didn't bother him. I didn't tell him it had been to my friend, but he knew that I also had never had a boyfriend before. I think I mentioned it was casual, and it just didn0t affect him.So things went on, I lost my virginity to him and while it was painful the first few minutes, I actually enjoyed it and didn't bleed at all. I'm truly grateful, because I know many women have awful first times. Even though it wasn't particularly romantic, he was also so sweet, patient and loving. He was gentle. It was great.Then one day - months later - he got jealous, asked me about my history with that friend. I said yes, some stuff happened. He connected the dots, and figured out I had given the BJ to him. I stopped talking to the firend, my boyfriend turned retroactively jealous about it and it has been like this for almost 3 years already.Most of the time we do great, but sometimes something will trigger it. And sadly, last night, that something was my fromer friend. We went to a party and he was there. Considering my boyfriend and my former friend never stopped talking, they even joked for a while, talked and everything, just like normal friends, despite how awkward it might have been for me.Well, later we were alone and he started asking me whether I had really lost my virginity to him, since I didn't bleed. I said yes, that approximately 50% of women don't bleed the first time. He said his ex bled. Then he asked me about my former friend's penis size - again - and I told him - again - that my former friend had a smaller and thinner penis than him (my boyfriend's is average length, but a bit thicker than average). He didn't believe me, since my friend is taller and has a bigger body. Then, without me asking he told me that when they were trying to have sex for the first time, his ex hurt a lot and bled, and she told him "Maybe it hurts and I'm bleeding because your penis is so big". This shocked me and made me feel a bit sick. I didn't want to hear such intimate details about their relationship. I don't care about his past. He cares about mine, but that's his thing. I didn't want to know. And it hurt me in a way that apparently with that comment she made him feel more of a man than I ever had. Sure, his penis is a bit on the big side, and while I have complimented him (mostly on his skills), I have never told him "OH YOU'RE SO BIG!!!" or anything like that. But then again, they lost their virginities to each other, so I guess for them there was that whole romantic thing, and he probably idealized her because she had never seen a penis before. Like she was angelical and innocent while I had a bit of experience already.Later he kept insisting on my past. I told him there was nothing he didn't already know. I started crying, because I remembered what he told me about her. And we talked about it. He told me we had great sex, that they had crappy sex. I don't remember how, but her breast size came up. She must have been a AA, tops. He told me how she always felt so self conscious about it, that she wanted implants. He told me he told her that she didn't need implants.He probably didn't mean to hurt me, but again he did. I am a B cup. He has told me many times that he likes big breasts and that mine are a bit small, and since I have lost weight, they've got a bit smaller. He even told me once that if I ever end up flat chested, he could pay surgery for me if I wanted it. She has smaller breasts, and he so lovingly told her that she didn't need implants, yet I am a few cup sizes bigger and he has told me mine are small, and that maybe if I want to I can have surgery? Why didn't I get the "No, baby, are you crazy? You're perfect just the way you are!".Anyway, after such a long post, the thing is, I'm feeling bad. One because I feel jealous of this idealized, romantic relationship they had (since they were each other's firsts, in regards to love and sex, because he was so sweet to her in regards to her body, etc.) and I feel like I'm not as special as she was. Then of course, is that I don't want intimate details of their relationship unless I ask! And I didn't ask to know about those things he said last night. How do I get over these feelings?
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breasts, ex girlfriend, friend with benefits, his ex, jealous, lost my virginity, never had a boyfriend, penis size Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): hey,
i completley agree with evryone so far... he is not worth keeping if hes not happy with the way you are. comparing you to his ex is bad enough but i like u have no desire to know wot my boyfriends sex life was like with other women unless i ask about it. and as for the AA cup size thats my size im not big but im proud of wot i have and so is my boyfriend. more than a handfull is a waste is wot he tells me. id love to be a B cup anyday so ur not small at all despite wot ur bf says. comparing u like that is wrong and ur better off with out him.
good luck xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009): Get away from this jealous creep.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 December 2009):
Seriously, dump this guy. He's comparing you to his ex and is suffering from serous jealousy issues. The fact of the matter is when a man (or woman) compares you to an ex, you're second best. You can do better than to be hurt by this guy.
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