A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been having a few arguments with my boyfriend of 8 months just lately. I have had a lot of bad relationships in the past and been treated badly. I try not to take it out on my boyfriend but if I have issues I tell him but he thinks im just nagging at him. I feel the only way for this relationship to work is to be honest and tell him whats wrong but we have fallen out and he has said that Im punishing men for what they have done to me and that I bully him into saying things in arguments. My boyfriend finds it difficult to talk about problems and I am really upset that he thinks this as I feel that I make a lot of effort for him and give him a lot more attention than he gives me. I just get frustrated that he can't talk to me. At times I do get insecure and find relationships difficult and I have told him this but he takes everything I say as having a dig at him. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Hey, Tell you what? The most hardest is relationship ever i had.. but i cant explain the whole.. all i want to know if you can understand how you connect with someone.. you have to observe inside who had secret, cheating, talk about us, anything you need to find out.. Because i been notice something happen with someone who not tell the truth once or someday or even not ready to tell... That why you have to ask him alot of question than without your knowing what his life.. Sometimes when you thinkin something is wrong with you or anybody... you have to think yourself to not messed this up. Think yourself. Or possible you have to looked up at the internet Maybe it helps. Possible you can go to therpay or conseloring to talk about this happening.. all is help you guys.. My personal is ever worse ever i had.. but i cant tell you this... Maybe alittle.. When i met someone who really care about me.. I asked him alot of question but the things he keeps say the nasty stuff..l dont feel comfortable.. so I just told him that we need some break and chill and it not meaning break up you know .. He said yea..anyways later finally we discussed.. we workeed out how to make understand how i feel.. Not even worse... well that all i had to say .. thank you
A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (4 February 2008):
 I have had a Ton of bad relationships. In fact, I can honestly say, that every relationship has not been good. But, still, I look at every relationship as someone new, and I make a huge effort to give this new person a fair chance.
Think of it as a new beginning. Because if you ponder over old relationships, and expect the worst, then you will MAKE IT HAPPEN.
My advice to you.... CLEAR YOUR DATA!
We know life, based on past experiences. A lot of guys don't understand that. I think women are victimized so much more than men are. Because, physically, NOT mentally, we are the weaker sex.
Pretend in your mind, that you are a newborn baby. No past, no experiences, no heartaches.
Strive on being happy. As a friend said to me once (recently): "Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry, and you are alone. People like being around other people who act happy."
ACT HAPPY. BE HAPPY. It is your choice.
...............................
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