A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If a guy asks you to go to his place for a drink, is he only after one thing ?. He doesn't live comepletely on his own. He has housemates, but he does have his own room. He did ask me when i was going to be out around town again at first, but i said i wasn't sure, so then he said i could go and have a drink at his place if i wanted. I don't really want to go to his house when we have only just met, but then again, i don't like going out drinking very much either lol. I'm not even sure if i want to date this guy yet !. To be honest, i have feelings for another guy at the moment ,athough, i'm not sure if it's going to get anywhere with him yet. This guy who has asked me to his house is good looking ,and seems like a nice guy, but i did meet him in a bar and maybe i should get over my feelings for the other guy first, or see whether anything is going to happen with him or not ?. What should i say to this guy and what should i do ?. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 December 2011):
 You're allowed to talk to and get to know other guys even if you still have feelings for someone else. Talking and meeting and getting to know someone does not mean you will fall in love with someone else. It's just a getting to know them phase, it doesn't imply anything else. So if you want to meet this guy again it doesn't mean you are "dating" him, it just means you are meeting him.
If he asked you to his place for drinks it's probably because of one or two things: he wants to get to know you/sleep with you. But a guy like that could also be interested in getting to know you and date you and possibly have a relationship. But ultimately, yes, his intentions are not to be strictly friendly with you, however it is too early to say if he only wants sex or could want a relationship. I'm just saying he definitely wants more than just friends.
Bring a friend with you if you are to go ti his place for drinks, for safety reasons. We don't want to believe in him being a rapist or anything, but you don't know him or his room-mates and they might be uncomfortable or rude for all you know, so better to have someone with you. At least tell someone where you are going and have them call you at one point to check that you are ok.
It'd be much better if you met this guy somewhere public for coffee for example, rather than drinks.
A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (7 December 2011):
 Why dont you suggest he meets you during the day for a coffee somewhere?
You mention you dont like drinking much, and I think its very unsafe to be going to a strangers house.
If he is as interested as he seems, he will jump at the chance to spend more time with you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 December 2011):
 If you don't really know him I wouldn't go home and have drinks. Now if he has asked you over for coffee it would seem more innocent ( not that it necessarily is).
Since you aren't really sure on the guy, I would just tell him no, but thanks.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Well if you are not dating this other guy that you are interested in then you will be doing nothing wrong on keeping your options open. If you want to go to his for a drink then do so. It is hard to tell if there is only one thing on his mind. He might be genuine enough. Off course if he does try anything on just be clear to him that you are not easy and he is not just going to get you in to the sack. It is up to you what you want to do, nobody else can guide you on this. If this other guy is someone you want to be with well then maybe you should tell him you like him and see how it goes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): You like someone else, so why even play around with the other guy, regardless he put out he wants you over for a 'drink'.
I say be patient. Keep away from let me into your pants dudes.
Alcohol should never mix with the hopes of getting to know someone honestly and without rushing the sex.
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (6 December 2011):
I would feel unsafe under those circumstances. I would also find it too difficult if I had feelings for someone else, but we`re all different. It is your decision that counts.
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