A
female
age
41-50,
*erewegoagainmelissa
writes:I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible. I have a great female friend we've been friends for over 10 years. She and my husband are also great friends. They are very much like brother/ sister, always have been, long before I was ever involved. As a matter of fact she set us up and has worked to keep us together on more than one occassion. I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt their relationship is strictly platonic. Here's my dilema. Because her and my husband are such good friends, me and her husband have gotten to be great friends. Since they seem to hang together or chat together when we are all together that leaves he and I together. The thing is I've begun to wonder if maybe there is something more between us. At times we text each other over 150 times per month. While our spouses are aware of some of these texts, they are not aware of them all. The texts are not overly flirty and have NEVER been sexual. I have noticed the last few times I've been around him though I feel nervous and he'll be super chatty one minute and hardly say anything the next. We don't openly talk like we used, yet when we are all out together he usually opens my door, waits on me to get out of the car and many times he and I walk side my side. Am I just fortunate enough to have a great guy friend or are we getting ready to head into rocky territory? He has told her I am now his best female friend, but is that all it is?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): melissa, melissa, melissa, you do know you are playing with fire with this womans husband, don't you. darling, expect to get burnt if you continue in this regard. you will mess up your life, two marriage and darling when the dust settles YOU WILL BE ALONE. and you will have no body but yourself for straying. seems like you are looking for the signs, the signal to say i am interested. if he is indeed, then what. think very carefully about this drama unfolding. seems like YOU are a bit too interested. you will wreck lives and leave a path of pain, destruction and betrayal. stop while you can. you cannot handle PLATONIC. you are looking for a fling, darling, and it will all come crashing down on you.
A
female
reader, melanie0083 +, writes (22 September 2009):
 It sounds like he is somewhat interested in you...but trust me, you dont WANT that type of drama...It makes everything worse that your husband KNOWS her. It's like, double the risk...I dont think it's worth your marriage. I have a lot of male friends, but some of them can't just be "friends". they want something more...even if that means staying dormant about their feeling until I become single. Then their true feelings come out. I usually back off of them as friends all together when this happens. So be careful what you chose..it may costs you friendships as well.
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A
female
reader, herewegoagainmelissa +, writes (21 September 2009):
herewegoagainmelissa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell to explain a little further, it's not like my husband and his friend talk continuously or we are with them every weekend. We live about 100 miles apart. My husband rarely if ever call her and she the same, but when they do they will talk for hours. With this said I can also spend hours on the phone with her no problem. I also don't think he's becoming too clingy. I am often the one to text first so it's not just him. The last time we were together he was really nice to me, but seem very snippy with his wife. Even though they have both told me stories of their disagreements it was the first time I had actually seen him get somewhat frustrated with her. Do you think it was because I was around and he was frustrated that she was in the way?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I think you should be more concerned at trying to bridge the gap between your own relationship with your husband than concerning yourself with whether or not there is anything going on or about to happen with this other guy. It is one thing having a female friend - yep no problem - but when that friendship takes away some of the emotional and supportive intimacy that should be provided (as first port of call) by a wife then the boundaries are blurred and your husband is not acting with respect. The result is that you have been forced in many ways by default to 'replace' some aspects of your relationship with this other husband. I think its about time you acted as two couples not two lots of brother/sisters. Maybe you should confront your husband about how you are concerned that this other guy is getting a bit clingy (which is what it sounds like) and see if he is concerned enough to take stock.
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