A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,Bit of a long story this one but I think you’ll find it amusing if nothing else!I really like this girl. I’m fine chatting to her and joking around but there are moments where I get confused… Is she interested? Is she just being nice? I’m sure she’s interested? Oh she can’t be. Or is she? Nah! Maybe?Arrrrrrrrrrgh!A BIT OF HISTORYI left my girlfriend about two and a half months ago and although I made the decision it hasn’t been easy – I left since I wasn’t happy with the relationship but still had strong feelings for her. Since then I’ve been concentrating on myself, my own health and well-being, and treating myself and I must say I’m now feeling much more positive, healthier and happier.I’m ready to move onward and upward but I’m so out of touch after my last relationship (15 months) I thought I’d ask you what you think…NOW: I’M INTERESTED IN THIS GIRL, MANAGE TO EMBARRASS MYSELF A COUPLE OF TIMES NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO AND WANT TO ASK HER OUT BUT CANNOT PLUCK UP THE COURAGE (scared of getting rejected I suppose).There’s a girl I really like. I was physically attracted to her from the moment I saw her, which was about 2 weeks after I left my girlfriend. However, being so soon after the break-up with my ex I didn’t/haven’t acted on it.Sounds crazy but I used to get my hair cut in the usual place. Whilst going out with my girlfriend (now my ex) she started going to the same place. Well, after the break-up I started going somewhere else – I can’t imagine anything more awkward than both of us happening to get our haircut at the same time and having to sit next to each other for a whole haircut pretending we don’t know each other or just the sheer awkwardness of it – would be the longest half hour of my life! :)Anyway, this girl that cut my hair in this other place is lovely. I noticed how attractive she was as soon as I set eyes on her, but like I say, didn’t want to “jump out of the frying pan into the fire” and thought it best I give myself time to get over my last relationship, heal, and get my head together.The first time we just chatted a bit and she was really friendly. Just usual hairdresser chit chat I think. Next time I got my haircut we chatted more openly and talked about loads of things and also had a bit of a laugh – she asked me where I go out, and how old I was and stuff but to be honest I get that with hairdressers doesn’t everyone so told myself not to read into it – it’s just making conversation. I thought nothing of it but then she mentioned that she goes out Saturday and Sunday nights in town too, and where she goes, the music she likes, the fact she’s single and likes to go out with her single mates, she’s 22 etc. I got the impression she was dropping hints but I can’t see the wood for the trees. Funny thing is, I can read people really well and always seem to be able to help my mates out in these situations but as soon as I’m involved I’m useless.Later on that night we bumped into each other while I was out with friends. We were just leaving a bar to move on to a club and as I was walking out (oblivious to everything around me since the place was busy and I was trying to get through the crowds of people) she grabbed me, smiled and said hello. I was surprised to see her since I do go out in town often and have never seen her before… I would’ve remembered. Anyway, I said hello, we chatted briefly and then she asked me where I was going. I told her it was a mate-of-a-mates birthday and we’re off to another bar then a club. I asked her where she was going later and she said another club. I said something along the lines of “I’d rather go there but it’s my mates birthday so we got to go where he wants tonight, anyway I better go they’re waiting outside for me, you have a good time” and gave her a kiss cheek to cheek (how embarrassing!) and left.In my head shortly after the “incident”:“KISS CHEEK TO CHEEK – DOH! You idiot! What are you doing? What were you thinking?! Oh well never mind ha ha ha ha ha” :)Anyway, the following week I bumped into her again. This time I was out with a couple of other friends and one of them wanted to meet up with a girl. We went to the same bar to start as the previous week. My mate bumped into a girl in there and was busy chatting her up, my other mate then went to the toilet so I was stranded looking like “Billy No Mates” so thought I’d get a round in and went to the bar. Who saw me and came over? Same girl. She caught my eye but I didn’t recognise her as this time she was wearing glasses.We chatted for a while and had a laugh. She asked me where I was going tonight and I told her my mate wanted to go to a particular club to meet a girl so I’m playing the “wing man”. She said in a jokey way “Aww you’re letting the side down we’re going to XXX” and we were being quite flirty (I think. Well, I was anyway).Her friend said “shall we move away from the bar” which I took as lets get away, so I said “well nice bumping into you again, this is becoming a regular thing, have a good one in XXX”. This time, she held her hand up and not knowing what to do, I embarrassingly sort of half shook and half held it - It felt a little awkward as hell. I’m really messing things up here it’s hilarious – she must think I’m a right idiot - that’s the second time I’ve bumped into her and embarrassed myself :)In my head after this “incident”:“Oh my God, you PRAT! Pull yourself together you Muppet! What the hell are you doing? That’s the SECOND time now! Oh bugger”.Why is it when I’m in these situations (not often) I turn into bloody Hugh Grant out of Notting Hill?Anyway, moving on (you must be getting bored listening to this – although I do think it is quite amusing myself), I got my haircut last week (I get it done every month) and we chatted more and we were talking about what we got up to at the weekend, all sorts of stupid random stuff and making each other laugh. A lot. A couple of times she said I have to stop as we were both laughing so much she was having trouble cutting my hair. We chatted about the times we bumped into each other and again, she asked me what I was up to tonight. I told her I don’t really know as I’ve been out to different clubs each weekend and running out of places to go. She said she’d be out later and she’ll be in that same bar we keep bumping into each other to start the night off so if I’m out she’ll see me there. She also said I should go to XXX (where she usually goes).In the end I couldn’t make it in time since my mate (the only one who was free to go out that night) had to drop out since his Dad was leaving for Scotland early next morning and he hadn’t seen him in ages. It was 11:30pm before he came out so we went straight to the club area. Ok, so now this is perhaps a bit scary and, dare I say it, perhaps a little stalker(ish) but we tried to get into the club she recommended to me but it was already full so we ended up going somewhere else.The question is; am I just being a bit of a weirdo? Or are there signs that she might be interested? I’ve NEVER made the first move on a girl in my life… Sad eh? I tend to let them know I’m interested and wait for them to show me they’re interested… Unfortunately, you have to hit me in face with a shovel and say “I’m interested, take me out, I want you, NOW!”, and even then I just about get the idea she likes me a little :)Perhaps it was a good thing not going out last Saturday and bumping into her again… I like to take things slowly but if she is interested I need to “strike while the iron is hot”. Otherwise it’s going to get to the point where nothing happens and I’ll just have to miss out. I have been just my usual confident funny self and playing it quite cool (I think) – apart from those two embarrassing moments!What do you think? Perhaps I’m reading too much into all this? Perhaps not?HEEEEEEEEEELP :)
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flirt, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry it's been a while. I couldn't do it. She still cuts my hair though and we're friendly. She got snapped up by someone else literally a few days before I bumped into her.
Weird how nearvous she made me though. I don't get that normally. Although I suppose that's normal if you really like someone.
I had the same nervouse thing with my frist and second girlfriend.
A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (22 February 2008):
Gday mate just wanted to have an update on how things are going with you and this special girl that has you wound up in knots. Let us know how things have progressed. I am curious as we haven't heard from you for awhile so maybe this is good because you may be busy with this hot chilli woman. Let us know.
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female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (15 February 2008):
Hey mate have a good weekend and make it this weekend you ask for her number and give her yours and don't lose hers. She is keen mate you just have to leave Hugh at home and take Jonny depp with you. Just kidding be yourself however nervous she makes you. It is really cute and girls love it when we make you nervous. She is a confident female and mate go for it. Just don't get too plastered before you give her your mobile number. You will succeed. Life is too short and if you leave it too much longer someone will snap her up. Good luck and have a great weekend mate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi korculan queen & pepper,
I think she might be interested but it has gone on for what seems like ages. This whole situation is very amusing though.
Thing is normally I'm a confident happy-go-lucky fun type and enjoy having a laugh and can talk to anyone. Every time I go out I strike up conversations with strangers and have a good laugh.
It sort of surprises me I'm so nervous around her. I have no problem in chatting to her and having a laugh. It's just those awkward situations where I know people are watching.
I didn't mention this but when she told me where she likes to go I told her where I often go and the last time I bumped into her it was where I often go (and never seen her in there before and it's not a big place).
I will have to do something about it before it goes completely cold. With a bit of luck I'll bump into her sometime this weekend but failing that I've got an appointment in a couple of weeks.
Thanks again for your replies and I'll let you know what/if anything happens :)
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female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (14 February 2008):
Mate you got it bad for this chicky babe. She is giving you ALL the signs of wanting you. She sounds really confident and I bet she giggles at the effect she has on you but at the same time it would turn her on. If you make a move and she says no then I would be really surprised because she sounds confident and knows what she wants. You guys could really have some fun together. Next time you get your haircut ask her to have lunch with you or dinner just you and her. If this is going to bring out Hugh in you then go to the movies or suggest a double date with one of your mates and one of her mates or do an activity such as hot air balloon ride, kayak, etc where you will be in a group situation and the focus won't totally be on you and her making conversation. If she makes you this nervous she would definitely be interested in you. She has been telling you where she goes and you have been there. So you are both giving off signals of wanting more. Go for it mate. Ask her out. Let me know when you do mate but do it soon.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so there's been some developments (or rather lack of) since my original post...
EPISODE ONE:
I went out with one of my friends to a bar then on to a club. He was sitting down, getting drunk and generally not being very sociable. I was having a laugh with strangers and dancing like a prat on the dancefloor.
Then the girl I like comes out of nowhere and as she walks past me she said to me "Now, I've seen you dance" with a smile. I was a little embarrassed. Later on I went outside for a cigarette and she was being chatted up by some big bloke (she is very attractive) so I thought oh well and continued having a laugh for the rest of the night.
EPISODE TWO:
After my friends giving me loads of stick they managed to convince me that I should just pop in to her work and ask her out. Now, I'm fine with talking to her when she's out but at work is a whole different story.
Anyway, after enough encouragement I decided what the hell I'll give it a go. What happened? Well, it was a bit of a disaster to be honest.
I walked in and she asked me what I was doing there and looked surprised. I bottled it and said "errrr... I forgot to make another appointment last time I was here" and it was awkward as hell. She stopped cutting the customers hair and came over to book me in. I must've only been in there 5 minutes but it seemed like an hour.
The girl who was washing someones hair at the time, finished and then stood nearby and just watched, she called another girl down from upstair and she just watched (there were no other customers waiting or anything), another girl was watching too. I felt like everyone was just watching and in the end I took the appointment card and had to get out of there.
Hilarious!
Now, I've got an appointment in 2 weeks which I'm almost dreading. I'm kind of hoping she'll have forgotten about it all by then. I might just have to make a joke out of the whole thing.
Thing is it's been so long now I think it's ridiculous. ANyway thought I'd let you know... It is rather funny when I think about it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"People always regret what they didn't do, rather than what they tried to do but failed"
Very true. I think it's been a good thing that things have been going slow so far. However, I really do need to make a move and at least get her telephone number and take it from there.
I knew my post would amuse some :)
Thanks for the reply!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): Ha ha! Very amusing...Sorry! :) Reminds me of how I was when I was a teenager! I think from what you write that she does seem to like you - Hugh Grant's bumbliness seems to appeal to some women, after all! As people always used to say to me - 'Faint heart never won fair maid' - try to think of what you'll miss out on if you don't take fate by the horns. Ask her out! People always regret what they didn't do, rather than what they tried to do but failed. Good Luck.
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