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Are there any ways of making anal sex for a girl less painful?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 April 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 27 May 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Does it feel better when a guy's giving a girl anal sex or having sex the regular way?

Also..are there any ways of making anal sex for a girl less painful? I recently discovered that when my bf fingers me there it feels really good, but i'm really not too sure i feel about anal sex bc it looks like it would really hurt. Just curious thanx!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

i beleive anal sex is one of the gifts from heaven. I being a male feel sometimes have anal sex and i do that it feels mee tooooooooooooooooooooo joy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007):

you shouldn't be having anal sex. The ass was made for shitting out of not this.

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A female reader, peppersalt United Kingdom +, writes (11 April 2007):

lube lube lube, and then some more lube. tell your guy to go really slowly, make sure you are really turned on, and let him finger you there first to relax you (I never liked that though... a penis fine, fingers eurgh!).

it's going to be uncomfortable at first, you're not using to anything going INTO that hole and it's normal to feel like you need to shit, but if you persevere it can be a good experience. personally it doesn't feel all that amazing (i much prefer vaginal sex) but it can be a nice thing now and then, especially if incorporated into power games.

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A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (10 April 2007):

ChiRaven agony auntAnal sex is different from vaginal sex. First, there is no natural source of lubrication back there, so you have to supply it artificially and make sure that it keeps on being well lubricated as long as the sex lasts.

Second, unlike vaginal sex, the male should probably avoid the deep thrusting strokes that are so arousing in front. To the guy: Take your time entering her anus ... let it adjust before moving forward. And even then, don't go too deep. The best sensation in anal sex involves the gripping of the powerful sphincter muscles (just inside the opening of her anus) around the most sensitive part (the glans and frenulum) of your penis. So once you get well established inside, a motion that keeps you just inside but moves the end of your penis back and forth right by those strong muscles and gets them to grip and release a little as you come and go can really feel great. Take your friction on the out-stroke of your motion, not on the in-stroke.

Did I say don't forget to keep it well lubed? That may involve a slightly deeper penetration once in a while, using your shaft as a "carrier" for the lube, to get it where you need it to be.

To her: If you are really worried about anal sex, start out with some anal play. Have him work a finger, and then maybe two up there and see how you like it. Try a vibrating butt plug, and perhaps even a small vibrator initially designed for use in front. Have him work that in and out, and get you used to those sensations. CAUTION: NEVER use a toy that has been used in the anus in the vagina later. Even if well cleaned it can cause some sorts of infections that you do NOT want to deal with.

Take it slow and easy. There may be a little pain at first entry, but it usually is nothing too much and does not indicate any damage. But the guy should be VERY aware of his partner's state of well being, especially during a first experience. No sudden moves. Remember, the membranes inside there are NOT built to withstand the kind of pounding treatment as the ones inside the vagina.

But with care, this can become a mutually pleasurable addition to your sexual repertoire.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (10 April 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey sweetness,

It will hurt if you don't take it suupppeerrr slow. If you take it slow, it hurts about the same as losing your virginity the regular way does. Use lots of lube and lots of patience. What I find is easiest is getting a small dildo first and practicing with that. You can do your practicing by yourself (or with your boyfriend if you're comfortable with him)... and when you try the actual thing make sure you really ease into it. DON'T rush.

Also (this is going to sound gross, but I assure you it's true), if he's pushing in, you should push out as in pushing something out of your bum. It actually relaxes the muscles so that it's eaiser for him to get in. Use lots of lubrication and lots of communication. It might not work the first time or the first few times, but it can happen and it can be really good.

Curiousity is never a bad thing, sweetness. Experiment! If you like it, try it some more, and if you try it and you're not into it... well, you tried, right?

Enjoy, sweetness.


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A female reader, chrissy32789 United States +, writes (10 April 2007):

chrissy32789 agony auntDear anonymous writer,

I think it feels better the regular way but i feels good anal sex sex to, there is diffrent ways i found where its not so painful you are still going to feel a little pain but not as much, lay on your side and have the guy behind you, have him lube up his penis, and take it in slow as he is doing that rub your clit you will feel the pain from him but you will also feel good to.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (10 April 2007):

penta agony auntI really like this site both for information and for toys. Here's some information:

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A female reader, Nay07 United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2007):

Nay07 agony auntAnal sex isnt for everybody, some people love it while others hate it. I myself love it! But it has got to be done right. There are three main things to remember: ALWAYS wear a condom, use plenty of lubricant and make sure that your partner listens to you because after all its you who is going to be in pain if he is too hasty! Hope this was helpful, have fun!

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