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Are hugs and pecks on the cheek too forward from someone who really isn't your friend?

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Question - (17 March 2019) 3 Answers - (Newest, 19 March 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am a bit old school in certain things with texting and personal greetings so would like to ask two questions.

When I text female friends I tend to put one or two kisses but don't tend to put them to men unless its male relations like a cousin, if they put one to me as I look at it as being a little bit interested in them when I am not. I had a text out of the blue recently from a tradesman when he found out about my mother passing away and sent the following message 'hoping you are ok, in a similar situation to you so I know how you are feeling, thinking of you xxxx'. I thought it was really sweet of him and put two kisses back to him as a thank you.

Regarding the hug, this same persom in the past has been friendly and given me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and today when he saw me at the pub after sending the text gave me a hug and a cheek kiss. I was fine with that, but is that too forward of someone that isn't really your friend.

View related questions: cousin, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2019):

If someone has your personal phone number, is aware of personal occurrences that happened in your family-life, sent you fake kisses from his phone; it wasn't quite forward, it was a little too familiar. This is judging by the old-school protocol.

If he gave you a hug and a kiss in-person, it was forward; but I've been to Europe and introduced to people I've never met and was given a hug and a kiss on each cheek. It took it as a welcoming gesture. So it also depends on how you want to interpret it.

I guess it depends on the situation, how you personally feel about it, and how they behave from that moment forward. A kiss is not necessarily romantic, your grandmother kisses you. Hugging is in a category by itself. I prefer handshakes until I get to know you.

I think the gentleman you mentioned is being flirtatious. It is a little forward; but it also depends on how you regard him as a person. If you feel he has exceptional character; and you don't mind him visiting your personal-space.

Everyone doesn't go by the old-school rules. If you know the old-school manners, use them. If you don't, then I guess you might cross a few boundaries; but you won't know until you get a reaction.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (18 March 2019):

CindyCares agony aunt I agree with Honeypie. For me, personally, it would be much too forward, coming from someone who is not your friend and also is a tradesman,i.e. someone whom you only see because you have business transactions with. Personally I would not welcome beong hugged by my plumber or by the pizza delivery boy, not because of any " class barrier ", just because I like keeping things neat and professional .People who works for me , or whom I buy things from = business relationship, not personal r/ ship. So, no kisses and hugs.

But that's my individual preference, not a law, it all boils down to whatever you feel comfortable with. You say that you were fine with the kiss and the hug, and that you found very sweet of him sending you a kissy message.

So, if his behaviour does not bother you - fine and dandy ; if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 March 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI think it all depends on YOU (and the other person).

For me, PERSONALLY, it would be WAY to forward and unwelcome for someone I BARELY know to hug me. As for the XX and OO's in a text... I wouldn't really read that much into it. I wouldn't use it myself to strangers or near-strangers but I also wouldn't really give much "attention" if someone sent me a text like that, other than to think it's a bit personal.

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