A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice. I currently work at a part time job where I get 25 hours a week maximum. I've been here for almost 4 years. The latest I work is 7pm and the earliest is 9am. I am giving this background because I have applied and am going through the process for a new job with very different hours and schedules. This new job is in the police department where you work all hours of the night. The shifts are rotating 8am to 4pm for 2 weeks then 4pm to 12am for 2 weeks. When I applied for the job I was excited because it made a lot more money and it was more of a career and a job to be proud of than where I work in retail right now. But the farther I've gone in the process the more scared I am getting. They have a lot of mandatory overtime in addition to the rotating night shifts. So I'll be going from 25 hours a week to 40+ hours a week. And the night shift worries me. I am not used to being away from home for dinner so often. I am married and my husband isn't bothered by the rotating shifts but I am. I worry we will grow apart. He works 9am-6pm everyday. So that means every couple of weeks we won't see each other barely at all. I'll be leaving before he comes home and he will be in bed when I get home. He just tells me if it is so bad then I can quit. But I don't want to just quit a job without other prospects and I'm scared of losing the job I am comfortable with. If the new job doesn't work out then I have nothing to fall back on, and being someone who needs security and stability it terrifies me. So what I would really like is to hear from anyone who works rotating night shifts (maybe a nurse or doctor, that's the only other job I can think of like this) and how it affected your relationship. Also advice in general. I always hear of women home in time to cook dinner for their children and husband and I guess I'm traditional in that I do crave that. I don't have kids yet but we are trying and I imagine having a job with rotating night shifts would be quite difficult to handle. Plus I'd like to be home more with a child. Anyone with firsthand experience dealing with this would be very appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the responses. I had another talk with my husband about the job and came up with a solution. I think I will take this job with the late shifts, assuming they hire me, and then when and if I have a child I will leave on good terms with plenty of notice and go back to my part time job. If not the current job I have then another part time job. Then hopefully since I left the police job on good terms I could come back in the future when my child is more grown. Of course this is some serious planning for far ahead in the future. But I think my husband and I can handle the odd night shifts so I won't worry about finding something else until I have a child. Even if I was pregnant within the next 5 months, making 3 times what I do now for even just a year will help immensely. And I never thought about 12 hour shifts, that would be much harder than working until midnight. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (23 October 2012):
 Hi
Working until midnight for 2 weeks isnt so bad.If you need the extra hours and money then go for it.You will soon settle into a routine.
I worked nights, 12hr shifts 8-8, 4 on 4 off,when my children were young, never got enough sleep and my body was out of sync,put weight on,always tired... working till midnight would have been a doddle!
If you want to stay where you are then look for a 2nd job or business you can do from home,which will be very hard to find as so many people need extra income.
If your trying for a family your current role would be better for childcare in the future.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (23 October 2012):
 I am a nurse and I have worked years of night shifts in the past,but because I am single, it never bothered me since I do not have to cook anyones dinner and both my kids have grown up and left home.
I have seen the effects of nights on other colleagues relationships and the women who work full time hours seem to have problems in varying degrees with home and family (childcare etc). Hear a lot of moaning in the locker room about how they never see their husbands or they are really tired because have not been allowed to sleep during the day etc.
I am talking about 12 hour shifts from 8pm until 8 in the morning, so if some of your shifts finish at midnight then thats not so bad.
The fact that your shifts rotate from days to nights is also quite hard to adjust to and can play hell with your body clock and health (a lot of night workers suffer with IBS and insomnia)but again, finishing at midnight isn't as bad as having to work the entire night and a two week rota does give your body time to adjust.
Things like meals can be worked out, you can cook and freeze and I am sure your husband would help out, but juggling time with the kids is much more difficult if you work full time.
Any full time job is hard to manage if you have a young family but in the tough economic climate sacrifices often have to be made.
Personally if I had a job that fitted in with the kids, I'd keep it and maybe boost your income with some home work, such as accounts or tutoring or even taking in ironing or selling stuff on ebay.
It just depends on how much you need the extra money and how much support you are going to get at home.
Good luck with your choice.
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