A
female
age
30-35,
*reason
writes:I have no self esteem, because of past relationships, and I just found out I like to dominate, but there's only one problem. It doesn't feel normal to me to dominate during sex because I'm female. I know it's because my self esteem is pretty much gone. Anyone have any ideas on how me and my boyfriend can improve my self esteem?
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female
reader, Treason +, writes (8 December 2009):
Treason is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSelf help books? Not my thing. And, yes, it is my self esteem that effects it because it feels wrong to me, I feel like it's not normal and that's because my self esteem is shot. Wanting to dominate seems wrong to me because I feel it's not my place, it's not normal to me because I have no self esteem
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 December 2009):
 Google self-esteem and you will see lots and lots of sites or go to a bookstore, there are lots and lots of books on the subject. And like the sister said, this is YOUR project not your boyfriend's.
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A
female
reader, Treason +, writes (8 December 2009):
Treason is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy self esteem is shot because of past relationships. One of them lit me on fire and carved his name in my skin. I feel like an object, and that's why I have no self esteem. I hate it and just can't get over the feeling that I'm nothing more than an object for someones pleasure. Goals? Don't work, I've tried. Hobbies? I draw, I draw a lot, and yeah, some of them help, but most do the opposite. I'm not saying it is my boyfriends job. I'm saying that it's my job, and possibly he can help. I've been treated horribly in the past by those who say they love me. Since they 'love' me, I obviously am just an object to everyone who 'loves' me. Hope that makes sense...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Wanting to dominate is not an esteem issue..don't get me wrong, if you say that you have low self esteem, I believe you...but wanting to dominate has more to do with power and control and not wanting to feel vulnerable to someone else...
You can work on your self esteem by doing things you are proud of...everyone thinks self esteem has to do with how you look and they forget to work on the inside. Pride and accomplishment build esteem and you have more control over it than the way you look on the outside. Plus, it lasts longer :)
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