A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend of six months recently tried to have sex..and failed. We didn't try for very long bit he just didn't fit.inside me. I don't know if it was just bad angles or am I to.tight?? Any ideas to make it go smoother? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 February 2012):
 Unless you have a rare medical condition, you can't really be too tight. However, you can be not loose enough from foreplay. The average woman takes a full 20 minutes to be fully aroused. As a rule, you shouldn't go ahead with sex until your boyfriend can give you an orgasm, or at least almost give you one. Because in order to comfortably have sex, at least when you're starting out, you need to be pretty much close to orgasm.
I agree with DoubleM that oral sex is probably the best way for you to get warmed up for this. 1) because it feels very good, 2) because he can't make the mistake of trying to stimulate you vaginally (as opposed to your clitoris), and 3) saliva is an excellent lubricant. I also agree that generally with young couples trying to have sex for the first time, there is a tendency for the guy to get antsy and try to rush into it.
You need more foreplay where he stimulates your clitoris (or some women enjoy g-spot as well) and shouldn't even try penetration until you're pretty much close to orgasm. A good water or silicone based lube couldn't hurt either.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (12 February 2012):
 Lubricants may help, but better to use water-based rather than oil-based, which may upset your vaginal balance. Also, patience. Simply put, if he is fairly large, which I doubt is really the issue, he should just insert very gradually. In my experience with young women years ago, and particularly with Asian women, it was always necessary to begin very slowly. Young men often want to get going way too fast, and girls need a lot of heating-up to get the natural lubricants flowing. Prior cunnilingus (oral stimulation) is perhaps the best preparation of all, but going slowly may help ease insertion.
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A
female
reader, destinybound +, writes (12 February 2012):
Lube, lube and more lube.
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